• Animal Noises

    A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
    "Davy, what noise does a cow make?"
    "It goes moo."
    "Alice, what noise does a cat make?"
    "It goes meow."
    "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?"
    "It goes baaa."
    "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"
    "Errr.., it goes.. click!"
  • Surpise gift!!

    Miss Jones is a kindergarten teacher and today is her birthday. As she walked into her classroom one of her students, Dollly, had brought a gift up to her desk.
    "Guess what it is!" said Dolly.
    Knowing that Dolly`s father owned a bookstore she guessed, "A Book?"
    "How did you know?" asked Dolly
    Next, Robert brought a gift up to Miss Smith. "Guess what it is!" said Robert.
    Knowing that his parents owned a florist shop, she guessed, "Flowers?"
    "How did you know ?" asked Robert
    Finally, Johnny brought up a gift for Miss Smith.
    "Guess what it is!" said Johnny.
    Knowing that Johnny`s father owned a liquor store, and seeing that the bag was wet, she placed her fingers on the liquid and then licked them.
    "Rum?" guessed Miss Smith.
    "No" said Johnny.
    She tasted again..."Vodka?" she guessed.
    "No" said Johnny.
    Once again she wet her fingers and tasted, "I know," said Miss Smith, "It`s wine."
    "No!" said Johnny..."it`s a puppy."
  • Spelling error

    One day on a train, there were two small boys and a middle aged lady. She sat reading her book but couldn`t help overhearing the two small boys having a deep heated discussion on the subject of spelling. "It would be spelt `W-W-W-W-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-B-B-B-B`," the first boy argued.
    "No its not! It`s spelt `W-W-W-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-B-B-B`," retorted the other.
    The lady leaned over unable to keep to herself and said, "Excuse me boys, but I think you`ll find the word is spelled `W-O-M-B`."
    The first little boy looked at the other, and then back at the lady, and replied,
    "You know lady, I bet you`ve never even seen a hippopotamus, let alone ever heard one fart underwater!"
  • True Lies!

    A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.
    The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"
    One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we`ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."
    Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn`t be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don`t you boys know it`s a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
    There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he`d gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."