• Where is Jesus?

    A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers was concerned that her students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. She wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc.
    So she asked her class, "Where is Jesus today?"
    Steven raised his hand and said, "He`s in heaven."
    Mary was called on and answered, "He`s in my heart."
    Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He`s in our bathroom!!!"
    The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, she gathered her wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
    Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!?"
  • Definitely...

    Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word Definitely in a sentence?"
    First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue"
    Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."
    Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green"
    "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
    Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:
    "Does a fart have lumps?"
    The teacher looks horrified and says... "Johnny! Of course not!!!"
    “OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..."
  • Standing stupid?

    A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you`re stupid, stand up!"
    After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you`re stupid, Little Johnny?"
    "No, ma`am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
  • Patriotism!!!

    Mum: "Andy, where are you off to now?"
    Rahul:"I`m going to join the army."
    Mum: "But, legally you`re only an infant."
    Rahul: "That`s all right, I`m going to join the infantry."