• Water Landing

    A plane made an emergency landing on water. The stewardess asked the passengers to slide down to the lifeboats, but the passengers refused.

    The stewardess then asked the captain to help.

    The captain being very knowledgeable and experienced, guided her:
    Tell the Americans this is an ADVENTURE.
    Tell the British this is an HONOUR.
    Tell the French this is a ROMANTIC activity, and tell the Germans this is the LAW.
    Tell the Japanese this is an ORDER, and everyone will be sorted out.

    Stewardess: Can I convince the Pakistanis ???

    Captain: Yes dear, just whisper, 'This is a suicide mission'.

    And what about the Singaporeans? stewardess persisted.

    The captain, taking a deep breath, patiently explained: You need not tell the Singaporeans anything, my dear. Once they see a QUEUE , they will join it without questions.

    Stewardess remembered the flight had some passengers from India.
    And Captain, what about Indians, she asked.

    The captain laughed and said: Easy. Just tell the Indians this activity is FREE.
  • Pakistani Hell

    A man dies and goes to hell. Once there, he finds that there is a different hell for each country, so he tries to seek out the least painful one.

    At the door to German Hell, he is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

    He does not like the sound of that, so he checks out American Hell, Russian Hell and many more. They are all similarly gruesome. However, at Pakistani Hell a long line of people is waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

    He is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Pakistani devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

    "But that's the same as the others," says the man. "Why are so many people waiting to get in?"

    "Because of the power cuts, the electric chair does not work. The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable. And the Pakistani devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for private business."
  • Emergency Landing

    A plane made an emergency landing on water. The stewardess asked the passengers to slide down to the lifeboats, but the passengers refused.

    The stewardess then asked the captain to help. The captain, being very knowledgeable and experienced, guided her - You tell the Americans this is an ADVENTURE.

    Tell the British this is an HONOUR.

    Tell the French this is a ROMANTIC activity,

    and tell the Germans this is the LAW.

    Tell the Japanese this is an ORDER, and everyone will be sorted out.

    The stewardess remembered the flight had some passengers from India and Singapore too. "What about them," she asked.

    The captain, taking a deep breath, patiently explained, "You need not tell the Singaporeans anything, my dear. Once they see a QUEUE, they will join it without questions."

    "And what about the Indians?" she persisted.

    The captain laughed, "Easy. Just tell the Indians this activity is FREE."
  • The Life of a Toothbrush

    A Dentist was conducting a survey: "How long do you use your Toothbrush...?"

    Chinese:
    "3 months...!!!"

    American:
    "1 month...!!!"

    Indian:
    "There is no fixed time limit doctor, may be years...!!! Initially we use it for brushing our teeth; then we use it for dying our hair, cleaning comb, cleaning ornaments, cleaning machine parts of our vehicles, cleaning the dirt in between two tiles in bathroom etc... etc... Then when there are no bristles left on the brush, we do not throw it doctor. we start using it for pushing 'Naada' in our Chaddis, Pajamas & Petticoats...!!!"