• Emergency Landing

    A plane made an emergency landing on water. The stewardess asked the passengers to slide down to the lifeboats, but the passengers refused.

    The stewardess then asked the captain to help. The captain, being very knowledgeable and experienced, guided her - You tell the Americans this is an ADVENTURE.

    Tell the British this is an HONOUR.

    Tell the French this is a ROMANTIC activity,

    and tell the Germans this is the LAW.

    Tell the Japanese this is an ORDER, and everyone will be sorted out.

    The stewardess remembered the flight had some passengers from India and Singapore too. "What about them," she asked.

    The captain, taking a deep breath, patiently explained, "You need not tell the Singaporeans anything, my dear. Once they see a QUEUE, they will join it without questions."

    "And what about the Indians?" she persisted.

    The captain laughed, "Easy. Just tell the Indians this activity is FREE."
  • The Life of a Toothbrush

    A Dentist was conducting a survey: "How long do you use your Toothbrush...?"

    Chinese:
    "3 months...!!!"

    American:
    "1 month...!!!"

    Indian:
    "There is no fixed time limit doctor, may be years...!!! Initially we use it for brushing our teeth; then we use it for dying our hair, cleaning comb, cleaning ornaments, cleaning machine parts of our vehicles, cleaning the dirt in between two tiles in bathroom etc... etc... Then when there are no bristles left on the brush, we do not throw it doctor. we start using it for pushing 'Naada' in our Chaddis, Pajamas & Petticoats...!!!"
  • Don't Mess With Indians

    American Interviewer: So what's your email ID ?

    Indian Candidate: Sir, iamanindian@gmail.com

    American: And password ?

    Indian Candidate: 12345678

    American Interviewer: You are so dumb. You shared such a confidential information so easily for the Job. How can we trust that you will not share any confidential information of the company for some better Offers ?

    Indian Candidate: Sir, I might have shared my password with you but I don't think you can still login to my email account. Let's look for the possibilities. My Password can be 12345678

    Or

    Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight

    Or

    1twothreefourfivesixseveneight

    1twothreefourfivesixseven8....... so on.....

    Or

    2444666668888888 (one 2, three 4s, five 6s seven 8s)

    13355557777778 (1, two 3s, four 5s, six 7s and 8)

    Or

    Combination of all of these ........

    By the way, did I mention use of capitals ?

    American Interviewer: How much will you you take boss ?

    Indian: I refuse to accept your offer Sir ! Becoz I don't want to work under dumb people.
  • Incredible India!

    Three friends, one Indian, one British, one Saudi Arabian were talking over dinner...

    British: Why India is called Incredible India??

    Indian: I can explain.... What you would do if a newly constructed bridge breaks down crushing 20 people under it....

    British: Well, the irresponsible engineer and official would be jailed for the rest of their lives, for sure.

    Saudi Arabian: Irresponsible engineer and official would be shot or hanged in public for sure.

    Indian: we have a very different method here in India... We will take the injured to the Hospital and we beat up the doctor if anyone dies...

    British: Oh, incredible!!!