Communities Jokes

St Peter was manning the pearly gates when 40 New Yorkers showed up. Never having seen anyone from the Big Apple at heaven's door before, St Peter thought he had better consult God. So he left the group at the gates and went off to find God.

"I've got 42 people from New York," said St Peter. "Is it safe to let them in?"

"New York, huh?" mused God. "We certainly don't want heaven overrun with New Yorkers. Why don't you just admit the ten most virtuous?"

St Peter went back to relay the news but a few minutes later returned to God in a state of anxiety.

"What's happened?" asked God.

"They've gone," gasped St Peter.

"What, all of the New Yorkers?"

"No, the pearly gates!"

An Afghan, upon landing at Islamabad Airport, introduced himself to a Pakistan Immigration Officer, as an Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.

The Pakistani Officer was surprised, and asked, "But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping?

The Afghan replied, You crazy bugger, don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan ?

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Indians up here in heaven and they are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabana saris instead of their white robes, they are riding Mercedes and BMWs instead of the chariots, and they're selling their halos to people for discounted prices. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear or clean, since they keep crouching down midway eating samosas and drinking chai (tea). Some of them are even walking around with just one wing! They do not believe in discipline and push their way through the line.'

The Lord said, "Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call."

Satan answered the phone, 'Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."

Satan returned to the phone, 'OK I'm back. What can I do for you?"

Gabriel replied, "I just wanted to know what kind of problems you're having down there."

Satan says, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and said, 'I'm back. Now what was the question?"

Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"

Satan says, "Man I don't believe this .. Hold on."

This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes.

He returned and said, "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and making hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire, which is there to keep them uncomfortably hot!!

"Since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone and IT connection between heaven and hell between ME and GOD. They have started a social network service for the troubled and believe in Karma and are good in convincing others. Some were trying to start a chai - pakora, Chole batura, channa, Dosa and samosa, barfi, Chakli and Dokla shop, which I had to stop.

"Many have no trouble living in dirt as they are so used to it down on earth. We have shortage of toilets to make them uncomfortable as this is Hell, but they have no problems in doing everything outside in open.

"They are excellent in corrupting everyone and my staffs are being bribed by them and I have difficulty in controlling the graft and corruption in Hell. They never complain as this place seems to be better from where they came. I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them!! I am therefore requesting you OH LORD, PLEASE send them back to earth as soon as they arrive for re-birth".

So this is why Indians are the only ones that are re-born !