• Business is Business

    One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give 20 bucksto the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

    An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick."

    The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."

    Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."

    The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.

    Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."

    The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jignesh, come up here and I'll give you the 20 bucks."

    As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jignesh, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."

    Jignesh, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!"
  • The Friendly Advice

    Two Pathans are traveling to Australia.

    Before they leave home, one of their Gujju friends gives them both a bit of advice:

    "You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They'll rob you blind. Don't you go paying them what they ask. You haggle."

    At the Sydney airport, the Pathans catch a cab to their hotel.

    When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, "That'll be twenty dollars, lads."

    "Oh no you don't! My friend warned me about you. You'll only be getting fifteen dollars from me," says one of the Pathan.

    "And you'll only be getting fifteen from me too," adds the other.
  • Run Mumbai Marathon

    Why people from different communities run Mumbai Marathon:
    Punjus run simply because of peer pressure from other communities and that they can upload their pics posing on the Sealink. Otherwise they rather be sleeping.

    Maharashtrians run because that day most roads are closed and BEST buses are not plying - so how else will they commute ?

    Biharis & Bhaiyas run because they feel the Maharashtrians are running behind them and they run for their lives.
    Catholics run because that's what they have been trained for since childhood - athletics or hockey or football.

    Parsis run so hopefully they can find someone on the race track and get married that same evening.

    South Indians run because of the completion certificate which they will get so that they can add this to their collection of certificates which they are collecting since childhood.

    Sindhis run because the cost includes Sealink toll charges.

    Gujjus run because the cost includes Sealink toll charges plus Goody bag plus Free Water plus Free Enerzal plus Free Oranges plus Free Salt plus Free Ice Pack plus Free whiffs of Volini Spray on the route.

    Marwaris run for all of the above reasons plus they think they can take an interest free loan from Standard Chartered Bank for their business just because they ran !
  • Patel Brothers

    Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome, Italy. One has a Cross in front of him; the other one is holding the Star of David.

    Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the Cross.

    The Pope comes by. He stops to watch the throngs of people giving money to the beggar who holds the Cross while none give to the beggar holding the Star of David.

    Finally, the Pope approaches the beggar with the Star of David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country; this city is the seat of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a beggar who is holding a Cross. In fact, they would probably give more money to him just out of spite."

    The beggar with the Star of David listened to the Pope, smiled, and turned to the beggar with the Cross and said, "Jignessbhai, look who's trying to teach the Patel brothers about bijness!"