• Hoya! Hoya!

    A politician gives a stump speech in an Indian reservation, trying to garner the Native American ballot.

    "If elected, I promise better education for Native Americans," he says.

    The crowd goes wild, calling out: "Hoya! Hoya!"

    Guy doesn't know what the word means, but he figures, hey, they look excited, so he goes on.

    "I promise to propose legislation permitting a casino to be built on this reservation," he says.

    The crowd gets even more frenzied, and keeps shouting "Hoya!" over and over.

    Encouraged by the cheers, he finishes his speech, "And if elected, I promise to ensure better health care and employment options for Native Americans!"

    The crowd is at a fever pitch, stamping their feet and yelling "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"

    His speech finished, the guy shakes some hands, kisses some babies, and decides to go on a tour of the reservation before hitting the campaign trail again.

    Guy comes across a huge herd of cattle, and says to his guide, "I was raised on a ranch, and I've always loved cattle. Mind if I go over and get a closer look?"

    "Sure," says the guide, "but be careful not to step in the hoya."
  • Run For A Reason

    Why people from different communities run the Mumbai Marathon:

    Punjus run simply because of peer pressure from other communities plus that they can upload their pics posing on the Sealink. Otherwise they rather be sleeping.

    Maharashtrians run because that day most roads are closed and BEST buses are not plying - so how else will they commute ?

    Biharis & Bhaiyas run because they feel the Maharashtrians are running behind them and they run for their lives.

    Catholics run because that's what they have been trained for since childhood - athletics or hockey or football.

    Parsis run so hopefully they can find someone on the race track and get married that same evening.

    South Indians run because of the completion certificate which they will get so that they can add this to their collection of certificates which they are collecting since childhood.

    Sindhis run because the cost includes Sealink toll charges.

    Gujjus run because the cost includes Sealink toll charges + Goody bag + Free Water + Free Enerzal + Free Oranges + Free Salt + Free Ice Pack+ Free whiffs of Volini Spray on the route.

    Marwaris run for all of the above reasons + they think they can take an interest free loan from Std. Chartered Bank (least realising Stan Chart no longer is sponsor) for their business just because they ran !

    And Bengalis don't run. They are busy analysing why others are running!
  • Don't Mess With a Gujju

    A Gujju bought a well from a Jew.

    The next day while on his way to market he met the Jew who told him, "Brother I have sold the well to you but I have not sold the water,if you use the water you will have to pay for it."

    The Gujju replied, "In fact I was planning to come to your place and ask you to empty the water and if you don't do it than you will have to pay the rent for the water."
  • Retired Gujaritis

    Four retired guys are walking down a street in London. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timers Bar - ALL DRINKS 10p. They look at each other and then go in, thinking, this is too good to be true.

    The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"

    There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a pint of bitter. In no time the bartender serves up four frothing pints of bitter, and says, "That'll be 10p each, please."

    The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40p, finish their pints, and order another round.

    Again, four excellent pints are produced, with the bartender again saying, "That's 40p, please."

    They pay the 40p, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They've each had two pints and haven't even spent a 1 Pound yet.

    Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve a pint of bitter as good as this for a 10p a piece?"

    "I'm a retired tailor," the bartender says, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for Pound 25 Million Pounds and decided to open this place. Every drink costs 10p. wine, liquor, beer; it's all the same."

    "Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.

    As the four of them sip at their pints of beer, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.

    Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the bartender, "What's with them?"

    The bartender says, "They're retired Gujaratis from Wembley.... They're waiting for Happy Hour......... when drinks are half-price!!!"