• Beer mug !

    An insect falls into a mug of beer....
    Englishman: Throws his mug away and walks out.
    American: Takes the insect out and drinks the beer.
    Chinese: Eats the insect and throws the beer away.
    Indian: Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.
    Pakistani: Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer. Relates the issue to Kashmir. Asks the Chinese for Military aid. Takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.
  • Who`s the fastest ?

    Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.
    The 1st boy says:" Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow!"
    The 2nd boy says:"Ha! You think that`s fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!"
    The 3rd one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a Government employee. He stops working at 4:30pm and he is home by 3:45pm!"
  • Kargil !

    The Sikh regiment was climbing a hill in the Kargil sector during the war when suddenly from the direction of the summit the Pakistani regiment opened fire on them. The Sikh regiment took cover behind boulders and started to return the firing. The firing continued for a long time and no progress was made so the Sikh regiment’s captain thought that since the names of almost all the pakistani soldiers are like yusuf iqbal mustafa etc. he’ll call out their names and the moment they react to the call we’ll shoot them.
    So he started calling out-"Yusuf" four hands shot up and they were gunned down. Then the captain called out-"iqbal" three hands shot up and they were gunned down this continued for a few more minutes till the Pakistani’s got wise and stopped responding.
    The Pakistani captain then thought that at this rate all his men would be killed so he adopted the strategy of the Sikh captain and thought that all Sikhs have names rhyming with Inder like Sukhwinder, Devender, Jaswinder etc.
    So the Pakistani captain started calling out "Sukhwinder" no hands shot up from the Indian side. The Pakistani captain again called out-"Sukhwinder" still no hands shot up.
    The Pakistani captain called out the same name twice again when instantly came the reply that-
    "Oye Sukhwinder nu kaun yaad kar-riya si?"(who is remembering Sukhwinder?).
    The Pakistani commander immediately shot up his hand and said-"Main"(me) and BANG he was shot dead.
  • Whistle !

    A Rajastani, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He`d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the rail tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn`t know what it is. Predictably, he`s hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks.
    It was only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he`s at his friend`s house attending a party one evening.
    While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a iron rod from the nearby shelf and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal.
    His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what`s happened and asks the desert man, "Why did you ruin my good tea kettle?"
    The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they`re small."