• Kargil !

    The Sikh regiment was climbing a hill in the Kargil sector during the war when suddenly from the direction of the summit the Pakistani regiment opened fire on them. The Sikh regiment took cover behind boulders and started to return the firing. The firing continued for a long time and no progress was made so the Sikh regiment’s captain thought that since the names of almost all the pakistani soldiers are like yusuf iqbal mustafa etc. he’ll call out their names and the moment they react to the call we’ll shoot them.
    So he started calling out-"Yusuf" four hands shot up and they were gunned down. Then the captain called out-"iqbal" three hands shot up and they were gunned down this continued for a few more minutes till the Pakistani’s got wise and stopped responding.
    The Pakistani captain then thought that at this rate all his men would be killed so he adopted the strategy of the Sikh captain and thought that all Sikhs have names rhyming with Inder like Sukhwinder, Devender, Jaswinder etc.
    So the Pakistani captain started calling out "Sukhwinder" no hands shot up from the Indian side. The Pakistani captain again called out-"Sukhwinder" still no hands shot up.
    The Pakistani captain called out the same name twice again when instantly came the reply that-
    "Oye Sukhwinder nu kaun yaad kar-riya si?"(who is remembering Sukhwinder?).
    The Pakistani commander immediately shot up his hand and said-"Main"(me) and BANG he was shot dead.
  • Whistle !

    A Rajastani, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He`d never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the rail tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn`t know what it is. Predictably, he`s hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks.
    It was only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises. After weeks in the hospital recovering, he`s at his friend`s house attending a party one evening.
    While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a iron rod from the nearby shelf and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal.
    His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what`s happened and asks the desert man, "Why did you ruin my good tea kettle?"
    The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they`re small."
  • What a balance?

    God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining his subordinates ...............
    "Look everything should be in balance. For every 10 deer`s there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels, here is the country of the united states. I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension.... And here is Africa. I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes.... And here is south America. I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser land so that they would have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance."
    One of the angels asked... "God, what is this beautiful country here?"
    God said "Aha...that is the crown piece of all. INDIA. My most precious creation. It has understanding and friendly people. Sparkling streams, serene mountains. A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live. Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold....."
    The angel was quite surprised "But God you said everything should be in balance."
    God replied "Look at the neighbors I gave them" !!
  • Are you serious?

    An Irish man walks into a bar and there`s a 7 foot tall Bar Tender there. The Bar Tender punches the Irish Man on the face. The Irish man falls on the floor.
    He finally get up and says to the Bar Tender, "Listen Mate, was that a joke or were you serious?"
    The bar tender replies, "I was serious"
    "You better have been serious, cos I don`t like jokes like that".