Computer and Technology Jokes

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Technology HURTS...

Be afraid! Infact very afraid, or be yourself. Technology can hurt you.

A wife was calling out for her husband from the kitchen to help her with the dishes, but did not get a response.

She went looking for him in the bed room and found hubby asleep on his files, tired of work.

She walked closer to him, looked at the innocent face, played with his hair softly, sweetly and.... then suddenly.... slapped his face!!!

The husband got up with a shock and asked, "what happened??!?!"

That's when the wife showed him his phone which showed: Last seen on whatsapp 1 minute ago.

Technology HURTS...

What's WhatsApia ?

There's a new illness discovered at the University of Bheja. It's a condition called "WhatsApia".

The symptoms are:
1. Having an app called WhatsApp.

2. Constantly checking to see if you have messages.

3. Checking if someone has been online and why they haven't replied to you.

4. Anxiety that you must reply or the other person will feel bad.

5. Expecting comments if you change your profile pic and/or update your status.

6. Pretending to listen to someone, while busy chatting on whatsapp.

7. First thing when you wake up needing your dose of whatsapp.

8. Copying this message and pasting in other groups.

The only treatment for it is to dump your smart phone!

My Computer

Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user ...

Help-desk : Double click on "My Computer".

Lady : I can't see your computer..

Help-desk : No .. Click on "My Computer" on your computer.

Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !!

Help-desk : There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer .. double click on it.

Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?

Types of Ladies

Technically there are 7 TYPES OF LADIES:

1. HARD DISK lady: Remembers everything forever.

2. RAM lady: Forgets about you the moment you turn off.

3. SCREENSAVER lady: Just for looking.

4. INTERNET lady: Difficult to access.

5. SERVER lady: Always busy when needed 6. MULTIMEDIA lady: Looks beautiful but you can only look.

7. VIRUS lady: This type of lady is normally called 'WIFE', once enters your system, never leaves even if the system is formatted.

Quotes

A kiss is the shortest distance between two souls.

Trivia

When the moon is directly overhead, we weigh slightly less.

Graffiti

If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.