Computer and Technology Jokes

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Crazy people on my WhatsApp list

1. Someone on his status "Sleeping" since 3 Days! He's Probably dead.

2. Someone is "Driving" since 5 days! I guess he reached Dubai!!!

3. Someone's status is "Happy" since 1 Month. Living in Paradise???

4. Someone is always 'Available'. How free Are you?????

5. From first day their status is, 'Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp' I Know ! That's why you're on my list!

6. Someone writes "urgent calls only". Don't get it... Are you in the police or ambulance service?

7. Someone says, "Can't talk. Whatsapp only". Dude then throw away your phone.. You are not using the phone's Primary function 8. Someone is 'at d movies' for the past 6 weeks. Either he owns d theatre or sells popcorn there....

Computer Humor!

What does a baby computer call his father?
Data.

What is a computer`s first sign of old age?
Loss of memory.

What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.

Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was looking for a byte to eat.

What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.

To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

Technology HURTS...

Be afraid! Infact very afraid, or be yourself. Technology can hurt you.

A wife was calling out for her husband from the kitchen to help her with the dishes, but did not get a response.

She went looking for him in the bed room and found hubby asleep on his files, tired of work.

She walked closer to him, looked at the innocent face, played with his hair softly, sweetly and.... then suddenly.... slapped his face!!!

The husband got up with a shock and asked, "what happened??!?!"

That's when the wife showed him his phone which showed: Last seen on whatsapp 1 minute ago.

Technology HURTS...

What's WhatsApia ?

There's a new illness discovered at the University of Bheja. It's a condition called "WhatsApia".

The symptoms are:
1. Having an app called WhatsApp.

2. Constantly checking to see if you have messages.

3. Checking if someone has been online and why they haven't replied to you.

4. Anxiety that you must reply or the other person will feel bad.

5. Expecting comments if you change your profile pic and/or update your status.

6. Pretending to listen to someone, while busy chatting on whatsapp.

7. First thing when you wake up needing your dose of whatsapp.

8. Copying this message and pasting in other groups.

The only treatment for it is to dump your smart phone!

Quotes

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

Trivia

Mary Gibbs (voice of Boo in Monsters Inc.) was too young to sit to record her lines, so they followed her around with a mike.

Graffiti

The old songs are best because nobody sings them any more.