• IMA on Demonetisation

    The Indian Medical Association has weighed the demonetization high value notes and this is what they have to say:

    The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

    The Gastroenterology had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the Government had a lot of nerve.

    The Obstetricians felt they were all labouring under a misconception.

    Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.

    Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

    The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

    The Surgeons were fed up with the cuts and decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

    The ENT specialists didn't swallow it, and just wouldn't hear of it.

    The Pharmacologists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

    The Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, but the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

    The Pediatricians thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

    In the end, the Proctologists won, leaving the entire decision up to the a***holes in Government.
  • Super Specialty Hospital

    A dentist, doing his first extraction on a patient, was understandably nervous.

    When he got the molar out, his hand shook, he lost his grip on the instrument, and the tooth dropped down into the patient's throat.

    "Sorry," said the doctor. "You're outside my specialty now. You should see a laryngologist! (throat specialist)."

    By the time the unfortunate victim got to· the laryngologist, the tooth had worked its way much further down.

    The laryngologist examined the man.

    "Sorry," said the doctor, "You're outside my specialty now. You should see a gastrologist! (stomach specialist)."

    The gastrologist X-rayed the patient.

    "Sorry," said the doctor,"the tooth has traveled into your lower intestines. You should see an enterologist! (intestinal specialist).''

    The enterologist took some X rays.

    "Sorry, the tooth isn't there. It must have gone down farther. You should see a Proctologist! (a specialist in diseases of the rectum; anus)."

    The Proctologist's examined the patient.... inserted a proctoscope inside the..... and remarked..... "Good heavens, man! You've got a tooth up there! You should see a dentist!"

    Dedicated to SUPER SPECIALTY HOSPITALS OF TODAY
  • Good & Bad News

    An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"

    Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.

    Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.

    Patient: OH NO! That's awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???

    Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
  • Turning Into a Horse

    A middle-aged woman enters her family doctor's office in a frantic state. She says, "Doctor, I think I'm turning into a horse!"

    The doctor, taken aback, replies, "I'm sure you may have some problem, but I assure you no human has ever turned into a horse."

    The woman became more insistent and said, "Doctor, look at my teeth. They're getting bigger and more yellow!"

    The doctor calmly replied, "Yes, I see. Your teeth appear a bit larger and more yellow than your last visit, but I don't think you're turning into a horse."

    Getting more frustrated, the woman said, "Well, I think I'm getting a mane! Look at all this hair on the back of my neck. It's grown 5 inches in one week!"

    Becoming more concerned, the doctor said, "You're not turning into a horse. We'll just shave your neck occasionally."

    At this point the woman became considerably frustrated, speaking faster and louder, "Just look at my finger and toe nails! They've become very thick and big. I'm developing hooves!"

    The doctor in amazement cried, "Holy cow! I've never seen finger and toe nails that big!"

    Then the woman pulls up the back of her skirt and said, "And look at this, doctor. My backbone is protruding significantly from my butt!"

    The doctor looked in amazement, then started scribbling on a small piece of paper.

    The woman asked, "Are you writing me a prescription?"

    The doctor said, "No. I'm writing a memo to my brother-in-law. He works at City Hall. Take this to him and he'll give you a permit to take a dump in the street!"
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