|Grandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn`t take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs sent her to the hospital for observation.|
By the time a pair of husky interns got Grandma tucked into bed, she had managed to complain about everything: the temperature, the lights, the skimpy gown, the food and the mattress, especially, the mattress.
Suddenly, Grandma spotted a small plastic item with a button, attached to a cord. `What`s that?` she demanded.
`If you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma,` said one of the interns, `just press that button.` `What does it do, ring a bell?` she asked.
No, it turns on a light in the hall for the nurse on duty,` the intern replied.
`A light in the hall?` responded Grandma. `Look, I`m the sick one around here.
If the night nurse needs a light on in the hall, she can get up and switch it on herself.`
|Old Dr. Carver still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house. Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he`d gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, "Do you have a hammer?"|
A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage, and returned with a hammer. The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom.
A moment later, he came out and asked, "Do you have a chisel?"
Mr. Tuttle complied with the request. In the next ten minutes, Dr. Carver asked for and received a pair of pliers, a screwdriver and a hacksaw. The last request got to Mr. Tuttle.
He asked, "What are you doing to my wife?"
"Not a thing," replied old doc Carver. "I can`t get my instrument bag open."
|The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat.I hadn`t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained,|
"I`m delivering him to my doctor`s office."
The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady,"he said, "but I Think It`s *too* late!"
|Old man Murray goes to the doctor with a very worried look on his
"Doctor," he says, "You`ve got to help me. Do you remember those voices in my head I always complain about?"
"Yes," the doctor replies.
"Well they`ve suddenly gone away," Murray says.
"So what`s the problem?"
"I think I`m going deaf."