• The Monks and a Woman

    Two monks were returning to the monastery in the evening. It had rained and there were puddles of water on the roadsides. At one place a beautiful young woman was standing unable to walk across because of a deep puddle of water.

    The elder of the two monks went up to her and lifted her in his arms, carried her over the puddle and left her on the other side of the road. Afterwards, he continued on his way to the monastery.

    The younger monk was both confused and slightly upset by the elder monk's actions.

    Later in the evening the younger monk came to the elder monk and testily said, "Sir, as monks, isn't it true that we cannot touch women?"

    The elder monk answered, "Yes, brother."

    The younger monk then responded, "But then, sir, how is it that you lifted that women on the roadside?"

    The elder monk smiled at him and said, "Brother, I left her on the other side of the road, but you are still carrying her."
  • Interfaith Seminar

    I went to a mixed religion seminar.

    The Christian Priest came, laid his hands on my hand and said, "By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!"

    I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.

    The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, "By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!"

    I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

    The Mullah came, took my hands and said, "Insha Allah, you will walk today!"

    I snapped at him, "There's nothing wrong with me."

    The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, "By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!"

    I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.

    After the sermons, I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen.
  • Professional Help!

    A woman received a call that her daughter was sick. She stopped by the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground.

    She looked at it and said, "I don't know how to use this."

    She bowed her head and asked God to send her HELP. Within a minute a beat up old motorcycle pulled up. A bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag. The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.

    She said, "Yes, my daughter is sick. I've locked my keys in my car. I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

    He said, "Sure."

    He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open.

    She hugged the man and through tears said, "Thank You SO Much! You are a very nice man."

    The man replied, "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON yesterday, I was in prison for car theft."

    The woman hugged the man again sobbing, "Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"

    Is GOD Good or What!?
  • Public Announcement!

    The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas.

    One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday.

    In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left. So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church. That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment.

    The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches... and for the spirit in which they were given !"
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