|Young Chuck, moved to Montana and bought a horse from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.|
The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died."
Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Chuck said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"
Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse!"
Chuck said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead horse?"
Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a net profit of $898.00."
The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
|Mark was hiking along a mountainous trail when he lost his footing and slipped over the side of a cliff. After falling approximately 15 feet he ran into the branches of a tree growing out the side of the cliff.|
While hanging on for dear life, he looked down and saw that it was at least a 200 foot drop to the bottom. In desperation he started calling for help. "Is anybody up there?! I've fallen over the side, and I need help!"
A loud booming voice that echoed through the mountains said, "I am the Lord. Let go of thy branch and ye will be safe!"
Mark could hardly believe his ears. This was indeed the voice of God, and it echoed loud and clear. Realizing this he looked down again at the 200 foot drop, looked up again, and cried out, "Is anybody else up there?!"
|A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, "This iz a stikup. Put all the munny in this bag."|
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
|A bible-thumping preacher was really getting it going one Sunday, and in the heat of the Gospel, an attractive lady leaned out of the balcony a little too far, and fell over the railing.|
As she passed the chandelier on the way down, the hem of her dress caught on part of the fixture, and she hung there with her dress pulled clear over her hips for everyone's viewing pleasure!
The preacher, a sensitive sort, cried out, "Any man who dares to look shall be struck blind!"
An old fellow in the front row nudged his friend and said, "I'm gonna chance it. This left eye ain't worth a damn, anyway!"