• Irresistible to Women

    Finding a bottle on the beach, Jake uncorks it and releases a genie.

    "Ah, now you get three wishes," says the genie.

    "Great!" Jake replies. "First, I want one billion dollars."

    Poof! There's a flash, and a paper with Swiss bank account numbers appears in Jake's hand.

    "Next, I want a nice ocean-side house in Hawaii."

    Poof! Another flash, and he is holding the deed to an ocean side property in Hawaii.

    "Finally," Jake says, "I want to be irresistible to women."

    Poof! There's another blinding flash ...and Jake turns into a box of chocolates.
  • Briefcase & the Miniskirt

    Tokyo, Japan
    A man was walking past a young girl, when a jagged edge of his briefcase accidentally tore her mini skirt.
    Before the man could apologize, the girl bowed deeply, and said,"I humbly apologize for this error. The quality of my skirt is not good."
    Then she took out a pin, put the skirt back together and left.

    New York, USA
    Before the man could react, the woman pulled out a business card and gave it to him saying, "This is my lawyer's card. He will contact you about this sexual harassment matter. See you in court, buddy!"

    London, England
    Before the man could react, the girl quickly covered the torn spot with a newspaper, and said with a blush on her face, "Do you mind taking me home, sir? I live not far away."
    The Englishman took his jacket off, put it on her, called a cab and took her home safely.

    Paris, France
    Before the man could react, the girl murmured with a smile,"A red rose can best convey your apology, monsieur."
    The Frenchman bought her a rose, and then they went to a nearby cafe, drank some wine.

    Sydney, Australia
    Before the man could apologize, the girl turned around, took out a hunting knife, ripped the side of his trousers and said; "OK, now we're even, mate"

    Shanghai, China
    Before the man could say anything, the police came and took him away to labour camp.

    New Delhi, India
    Before the man could apologize, 10 TV anchors came yelling, "We are the first TV channel to bring you this outrageous event. This is exclusive. How the modesty of a poor girl was violated in open public by a dark soul with a black briefcase. We assure you, we shall track this sordid story to the very end. India wants to know !The nation is watching ! The PM must answer !"
  • Political Correctness

    What is meant by the modern term referred to as "POLITICAL CORRECTNESS"... The definition is found in 4 telegrams at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence, Missouri. The following are copies of four telegrams between President Harry Truman and General Douglas MacArthur on the day before the actual signing of the WWII Surrender Agreement in September 1945.

    The contents of those four telegrams below are exactly as received at the end of the war - not a word has been added or deleted!

    (1) Tokyo, Japan 0800-September 1,1945

    To: President Harry S Truman
    From: General D A MacArthur

    Tomorrow we meet with those yellow-bellied bastards and sign the Surrender Documents, any last minute instructions?

    (2) Washington, D C 1300-September 1, 1945

    To: D A MacArthur
    From: H S Truman

    Congratulations, job well done, but you must tone down your obvious dislike of the Japanese when discussing the terms of the surrender with the press, because some of your remarks are fundamentally not politically correct!

    (3) Tokyo, Japan 1630-September 1, 1945

    To: H S Truman
    From: D A MacArthur and C H Nimitz Wilco

    Sir, but both Chester and I are somewhat confused, exactly what does the term politically correct mean?

    (4) Washington, D C 2120-September 1, 1945
    To: D A MacArthur/C H Nimitz
    From: H S Truman

    Political Correctness is a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end!

    Now, with special thanks to the Truman Museum and Harry himself, you and I finally have a full understanding of what 'POLITICAL CORRECTNESS' really means.
  • The Hiring Process

    Agency: Sir, we found 3 candidates as per your requirements, now how do you want their placements sir?

    M.D: Put about 100 bricks in a closed room. Then send the candidates into the room & close the door, leave them alone & come back after a few hours and analyse the situation:

    1) If they are counting the bricks, Put them in Accounts deptt.

    2) If they are re-counting the bricks, Put them in Auditing.

    3) If they have messed up the whole room with the bricks, Put them in Engineering.

    4) If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, Put them in Planning.

    5) If they are throwing the bricks at each other, Put them in Operations.

    6) If they are sleeping, Put them in Security.

    7) If they have broken the bricks into pieces, Put them in Information Technology.

    8) If they are sitting idle, Put them in Human Resources.

    9) If they say they have tried different combinations yet not a single brick has been moved, Put them in Sales.

    10) If they have already left for the day, Put them in Marketing.

    11) If they are staring out of the window, Put them in Strategic Planning.


    12) If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been touched, Congratulate them and put them in Top Management.