• What Time Is It?

    A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He decided park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep.

    As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.

    "Yes?"

    "Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?"

    The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15."

    The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger.

    "Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"

    "8:25!"

    The jogger said thanks and left. With other joggers passing by it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him.

    To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!"

    Once again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window.

    "Sir, sir? It's 8:45!"
  • Prayers Accepted

    A college student wrote a letter home:

    Dear folks,
    I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy. I have to ask for another hundred, but every cell in my body rebels. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.

    Your son,
    Marvin.

    P.S. I felt so terrible I ran after the mailman who picked this up in the box at the corner. I wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed to God that I could get it back. But I was too late.


    A few days later he received a letter from his father. It said, "Your prayers were answered. Your letter never came!"
  • Same Old Excuse

    An old man went to the college that he went to when he was a youth. He knocked on room number 3 of the hostel and said, "May I come in. I lived in this very room thirty years ago when I studied in this college."

    A young man opened the door and let him in.

    The old man examined the room, fondly remembering everything.

    He said, "The same old room, the same old wooden table, the ventilator and the same old window that opens to the garden. And the same old bed."

    When examining it he found a young girl under the bed.

    The young man got alarmed and said, "Don't mistake me. She is my cousin. She dropped her ear ring and is searching for it."

    The old man said, "And the same old story..."
  • Male Companion Wanted

    The following ad in the Atlanta Journal is reported to have received numerous calls:

    "Single Black Female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy."

    Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight week-old black Labrador retriever.