• Enemies to the West

    A knight and his men returned to their castle after a hard day of fighting.

    "How are we faring?" asked the king.

    "Sire!" replied the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day. Burning the towns of your enemies to the west."

    "What?" shrieked the king, "I don't have any enemies to the west!"

    "Oh!" said the knight, "Well, you do now."
  • Give Me A Sign

    A very devout man who was very overweight decided to go on a diet. One of his main problems with eating was that he would stop for donuts every morning on the way to work. So to make things easier for himself, he changed his route to work to avoid the temptation of stopping.

    As the weeks went by he started losing a lot of weight and was receiving compliments from his friends and co-workers.

    Then one morning without thinking, he accidentally turned onto the road which would take him by the donut shop.

    At first he was going to turn around but then he thought to himself, "Maybe the Lord is rewarding me for my efforts".

    So, he said a short prayer telling the Lord that if this was His true intention let there be an open parking place directly in front of the shop.

    And sure enough, on the fifth time around the block there was an open spot right up front.
  • Evolution of Word DRINK

    The word DRINK has been coined using the alphabets carefully to cue the effect of each peg !
    1. If you take 1 peg, it is good for Digestion - hence "D" has been selected.

    2. If you take the 2nd peg, it is right for Relaxation - hence "R" chosen as the 2nd letter.

    3. When you take the 3rd peg, you start feeling Intelligent - hence "I" happened.

    4. When you have the 4th peg, your thoughts and words turn Naughty - so "N"

    5. And when you have the 5th peg, you start behaving like a King - therefore "K"

    This is how the word DRINK was evolved.

    Long live the Drin-King!
  • Funny Cards

    Some Greeting cards you won't see.... but would probably sell.

    OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
    INSIDE: That you're not here to ruin it for me.

    OUTSIDE: If I get only one thing for Christmas...
    INSIDE: I hope it's your sister.

    OUTSIDE: I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
    INSIDE: After having met you, I've changed my mind.
    v OUTSIDE: I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
    INSIDE: I never believed in hell 'til I met you.

    OUTSIDE: Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
    INSIDE: What the hell was I thinking!

    OUTSIDE: I always wanted to be rich, powerful and well respected.
    INSIDE: And while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly.

    OUTSIDE: Sex with you is like using drugs.
    INSIDE: Lots of people do it, but nobody's stupid enough to admit it.

    OUTSIDE: When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
    INSIDE: Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

    OUTSIDE: I'm so miserable without you...
    INSIDE: It's almost like you're here.

    OUTSIDE: If you ever need a friend...
    INSIDE: Buy a dog.

    OUTSIDE: Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
    INSIDE: Did you ever find out who the father was?