• Beretta Pistol Testimonial

    This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

    What is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself?
    A Beretta Jetfire testimonial. Here is her story in her own words:

    "While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in The Villages with my soon to be ex-husband, discussing property settlements and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12 foot alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.

    "If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The 'gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.

    "It's one of the best pistols in my collection! Plus the amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible."

    "His insurance was the big bonus. I'm comfortable now."
  • The Church Gossip

    Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence and distance.

    She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

    She emphatically told Frank, (and several others), that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing!

    Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He simply said nothing.

    Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house, walked home... and left it there all night.

    You gotta love Frank!
  • Ice Fishing Competition

    Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a season when neither the Browns nor the Steelers made the post season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great rivalry. So, they decided on a week long ice fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.

    So on a cold freezing day on Lake Erie they began their contest.

    The first day after 8 hours of fishing the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers had 100. At the end of the 2nd day the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers 200.

    That evening the Browns coach got his team together and said, "I suspect some kind of cheating is taking place."

    So the next morning he dressed one of his players in black and yellow and sent him over to the Steelers camp to act as a spy. At the end of the day he came back to report to the coach.

    The coach asked, "Well, how about it, are they cheating?"

    "They sure are!" the player reported, "They're cutting holes in the ice."
  • Call of Nature

    A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.

    When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles.

    The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her.

    Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the lady's room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out.

    The three cops were standing their waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."