|An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice.|
The old fellow was crabby and exacting.
"Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy.
"Just do whatever I tell you to do."
One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil.
"Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."
Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
To ensure that you have a good time on your trip to Australia, your team members have planned and developed a special itinerary to fill the time during your leisure hours. Agenda follows:
Day 1: The "10 Deadliest Snakes" Fall Tour. You and a guest will be escorted through the outback and provided with the opportunity to handle and examine each of the world's 10 most deadly snakes.
Day 2: The "Great White Encounter." You and your tour guide will take a small boat to the Great Barrier Reef, where you will be able to dive into the chum-laden water and experience the beauty of the Great White shark.
Day 3: The Aboriginal "Festival of Spears." You will be the honored guest of a small aboriginal village as they celebratethe subjugation of the aboriginal race by the white man, with free liquor and a special weapons exhibition.
Day 4: The "Crocodile Dundee" Petting Zoo. You will be able to come up-close and personal with the occasionally harmless salt-water crocodiles of the Australian coast. Lucky audience members are asked to participate in a croc wrestling exhibition.
Day 5: "Those Marvelous Morays." This tour will once againreturn you to the beauty of the Great Barrier Reef, where you will be allowed to hand feed special finger-shaped sausages to the wild eels of Stubby Hand Reef.
We hope you will enjoy your trip!
Your loyal employees.
|Two nuns were shopping in a food store and happened to be passing the beer and liquor section.|
One asks the other if she would like a beer.
The other nun answered that would be good, but that she would be queasy about purchasing it.
The first nun said that she would handle it and picked up a six pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier had a surprised look and the first nun said, "This is for washing our hair."
The cashier without blinking an eye, reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer saying, "Here, don't forget the curlers."
|A young couple was touring southern Florida on their honeymoon and stopped at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road.|
After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.
"Wow!" exclaimed the new bride. "You certainly have a dangerous job. Do you ever get bitten?"
"Yes, upon rare occasions," answered the handler.
"Well," she continued, "just what do you do when you're bitten by a snake?"
"I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make deep criss-cross marks across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound."
"What, uh... what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a rattler?" persisted the woman.
"Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn who my real friends are."