|Since I was the first to arrive at our high-tech company one morning, I answered the telephone. When the caller asked for field engineering, I explained that it was before normal business hours, but that I would help if I could.|
"What's your job there?" the caller asked me.
"I'm the president," I replied.
There was a pause. Then he said, "I'll call back later. I need to talk to someone who knows something."
|If you ever feel depressed in your life... open your mailbox...
When I open my mailbox, I find:
10 banks are giving me easy loans.|
I have won GBP 10000000 and USD 500000 for unknown reasons.
10 Job companies have best jobs for me.
5 matrimonial sites have most suited matches for me.
Dr. Batra has claimed that he will cure my hair fall & greying.
3 universities are giving me degrees in random subjects.
And to top it all ...
Approx 70-80 mails from Priya, Payal, & Neha who are feeling lonely and want to meet me.
What else you need from life ???
Girl: What happened?
Girl: No, say na what happened... You look soo sad.
Boy: I'll ask you something... and you have to tell me the truth... will you?
Girl: Ok, ask.
Boy: Who is Raj loafer? He liked all your profile pictures and even your status updates on FB. who is the dumb idiot?
Girl: Please don't say anything about him.
Boy: Is he your ex boyfriend? Are you still in love with him?
Girl: Why would I love him... You are my only love...
Boy: Then is he your brother?
Girl: No no... not like that...
Boy: Then who the hell is he?
Girl: Shall we talk something else?
Boy: So you are hiding something from me? You have that much close relationship with him... he's so much important to you, right?
Girl: If I disclose the secret you'll definitely scold me.
Boy: I'm getting irritated now... don't test my patience.
Girl: Please Yaar...
Boy: If You don't tell me I'll break our relationship roght now.
Girl: Ok, I'll tell you... but promise me that you won't scold me, ok??
Boy: Oh, ok...
Girl: Hmmm... That is my fake profile... if no one likes my dp I like my pictures through that id and also post comments like cute, nice, hot, sexy, etc.... etc!!!!!
|A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.|
This means that the remaining 77% are caused by idiots who just drink tea, coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, yoghurt. Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents!!!