• Fake News

    My Dear Friends,
    On a very Serious note, Please be informed that somebody is trying to cause false alarm and despondency by spreading a very bad rumor about me. Some People are intentionally trying to Harm my reputed Image, out of Jealousy.

    Actually, I got informed from my well wishers that someone is aggressively telling people that I have stopped drinking.

    I have no clue about that. These are lies fabricated by my enemies who want to tarnish my good reputation and prevent my friends like you from offering me single malts and cognac this festive season.

    So, Just Don't listen to them and keep me in the list of all Cocktail parties enclosed with the feasts coming ahead.

    Yours truly...
  • The Great Gambler

    Benjamin is in the midst of a long dry spell in Las Vegas. Eventually he gambles away all his money and has to borrow a quarter from another gambler just to use the men's room. He finds a stall that happens to be open and pockets the quarter.

    Believing that his luck has finally changed, he puts the quarter in a slot machine and hits the jackpot. He takes his winnings and goes to the blackjack table and turns his modest winnings into a million dollars.

    Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Benjamin goes on the lecture circuit, where he tells his incredible story. He tells his audiences that he will always be eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever finds the man he will share his fortune with him.

    After months of speaking, a man in the audience jumps up and says, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you the quarter."

    "Yes, I remember you well, but you aren't the one I'm looking for. I mean the guy who left the stall door open!"
  • Pre-Lit Christmas Trees

    It's Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Shaun brushes off the first tree, and stands back with Paddy to look at it.

    "Well, Paddy, What do you think?"

    "Sorry, Shaun, this tree won't do. Let's try another one."

    They come upon another nice tree, Shaun brushes it off, and they both look at it.

    "How about this one, Paddy?"

    "Not quite, Shaun. Let's keep looking."

    This goes on until nightfall. Both Paddy and Shaun are cold, tired, and hungry.

    "Well, Paddy, what do we do now?"

    "Shaun, I think we should take home the next tree we find, whether it has lights on it or not...!"
  • Mexican Smuggler

    Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

    The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"

    "Sand," answered Juan.

    The guard says, "We'll just see about that, get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.

    He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.

    The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man''s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

    A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?"

    "Sand," says Juan.

    The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

    This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

    "Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about. I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

    Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."