• Super-efficiency

    Paul got a part time job at the Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur.

    Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Paul at the end of his first day. "I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had."

    "Thank you, Sir" said Paul, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better."

    "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?"

    Paul replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses."
  • Positive Feedback

    Now a days teachers are not allowed to say or write anything negative... A few interesting letters from teachers to get around this.......

    Dear Parent,
    We are delighted to inform you that your child displays remarkable initiative. Not for him the simple-minded obedience to teachers. We refer to his admirable refusal to do homework. We have, however, humbly requested him to stoop to our level and condescend to do his homework. Your support is appreciated.

    Yours anxiously,
    Teacher

    Dear Parent,
    Your child's distaste for mundane subjects such as mathematics shows an imaginative mind. Why, he wonders, does the square of the hypotenuse have to be equal to the square of the other two sides in a right-angled triangle? It is no wonder that he has scored a splendid zero in his math exam. Unfortunately, even brilliant students have to pass exams. Could you gently break that news to him?

    Yours entreatingly,
    Teacher

    Dear Parent,
    We are pleased your child has one of the same qualities that Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford Motor Company, possessed. Like him, your son believes that history is bunk. But it may be best to disabuse him of the notion that the Mughal emperors were Amar, Akbar and Anthony.

    Yours beseechingly,
    Teacher

    Dear Parent,
    Your child submitted a blank paper for last week's science test, influenced perhaps by Albert Camus who said 'Whether the earth or the sun revolves around the other is a matter of profound indifference'. Your son shares that profound indifference, undoubtedly for philosophical reasons. But could you inform him that in order to study philosophy, he has to pass class eight first?

    Yours plaintively,
    Teacher

    Dear Parent,
    Your son has obviously read Friedrich Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil, which is why he was copying from the boy next to him during yesterday's test. Like Nietzsche, he believes that Supermen like him have little use for conventional notions of morality. The teacher who caught him copying is a conventional type who gave him a zero.

    Yours desperately,
    Teacher

    Dear Parent,
    We are impressed by your child's knowledge of martial arts. In the past month, he has broken two legs, four arms and three noses. He also shows prudence while fighting, taking care to pick on weaker boys. For some reason, however, the fathers of the boys who were beaten up are planning to go to your home with hockey sticks.

    Yours wretchedly,
    Teacher
  • Traffic Camera

    An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate.

    The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly.... another flash.

    He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. So, he made a note to himself to contact the traffic department and tell them that their machine was messed up.

    A few weeks later, the off duty police officer received an envelope from the police department containing three traffic citations, each of them were for not wearing a seat belt.
  • Always Wear a Helmet

    After completion of my B.Tech from an average college I got a decent job in a reputed company as a Software Engineer.

    Under tremendous pressure from family to get married, I went to meet a girl under the arranged marriage system of India. After meeting girl rejected me upfront because she didn't liked my Job and of course I moved on and got married to another girl a year later.

    After 3 years, I saw the same beautiful lady at a traffic signal with her husband in a brand new Audi. And I was trying to kick start my Activa because the battery start was not working. She looked out of the car and briefly looked at me but without any hint of recognition due to helmet, she moves her eyes away!

    At that moment, after driving a two wheeler for over 4 years, first time in my life I realized the value of a helmet.

    So always wear a helmet in your own safety!

    Issued in the public interest by an honest Software Engineer.