|Why do some men prefer dogs over wives?|
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you sometimes have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
14. If a dog leaves you, it won't take half of your stuff.
|A couple, hosting a dinner party, were interrupted when the maid called the hostess to the kitchen.|
"Ma'am, the cat climbed up on the kitchen counter and ate the lot of the fresh salmon."
Light on her feet, the hostess told her to replace the missing portion with canned salmon, then returned to her guests. As everyone enjoyed the fish, the maid summoned the hostess into the kitchen again.
"Ma'am, the cat is dead!"
The frightened hostess felt obliged to inform her guests and suggested everyone go to the hospital together to get their stomachs pumped.
Returning home after their long, expensive, and embarrassing ordeal, she asked the maid where she had put the cat.
"Nowhere, Ma'am. It's still out in the street where the car hit it!"
|How to do root cause analysis...|
A Management lecturer was talking about QUALITY and it goes like that:
Lecturer: We all know Lord Ram went to spend 14 years in forest and Sita was kidnapped because of a QUALITY issue.
Student: How is this anything to do with quality?
Lecturer: Tell me why did Sita go to forest with Ram ?
Student: Because she was his wife and respects his every decision.
Lecturer: OK but why did Ram go to forest ?
Student: Because his father Dasharatha told him to do so and he never deny his father.
Lecturer: OK why did Dasharatha send his son to forest ?
Student: Dasharatha offered his wife (Kaikeyi) two boons , and she chose to make use of them in the future. And she wanted her son to be king, so on the day of Rama's crowning, she asked Dasharatha to send Rama to exile reminding him of his promising boons.
Lecturer: So why did Dasharatha offer his wife two boons ?
Student: Because during a military campaign against Sambarasura, the wheel of Dasharatha's chariot broke and Sambarasura's arrow pierced the King's armor. She nursed the wounded King back to health. Touched by her courage and timely service, Dasharatha offered her two boons.
Lecturer: Hence Proved. The QUALITY of Chariot's wheel was not up to the mark hence leading to kidnapping of Sita...!!!
|An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years, until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.|
They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said: Butter - 10 francs.
In response, the lady added a sign to her own window: Butter - 9 francs.
The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign: Butter - 8 francs.
Sure enough, the day after the lady's sign now read: 7 francs.
This went on for a while, until eventually one of the lady's customers pointed to the sign and said, "Madame, you cannot keep your prices so low for long. These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete."
In response, the old lady bent forward conspiratorially and muttered, "Monsieur, I don't even sell butter."