• A Psychology Professor

    One day in a well known University, a Sr Psychology Professor started his class on a very serious Topic. The moment he turned towards the blackboard, one of the students Whistled. He turned, looked at the class and asked the whistler's name............. As usual and as expected no one answered.

    The Professor peacefully kept the Pen in his pocket and picked up his bag. Saying that, the lecture ends here and that was enough for the day, he started moving towards the gate of the class. Students were overjoyed to be free.

    Then, he suddenly stopped and turned towards the class, kept his bag on the table and said, "I'll tell you a story to utilise the remaining time."

    Everyone became interested.

    "Yesterday night I tried hard to sleep, but it was miles away from my eyes, so I thought I'd better get petrol in my car, which will save my time next morning and might induce sleep. After having my tank full, I started roaming in that area, enjoying the peace of a traffic free ride.

    "Suddenly, on the corner I saw a girl who was as young and beautiful as the clothes she was wearing. Must have been returning from a party. Out of courtesy, I turned my car towards her and asked if I may be of any help. She asked me if I could drop her to her home, she'll be very obliged, to which I agreed. (Who would deny a beautiful young company instead of a dry non sleepy night.) She sat in the front seat with me. We started talking, and to my amazement she was very intelligent, had control on many topics which many youngsters don't.

    "When we reached her address, she admitted my courteous nature and behavior and accepted that she had fallen in love with me. I also admitted her intelligence and beauty and that I've also started liking her. I told her about my job as a professor in the university. The girl asked my number, which I gave her willingly. Then she asked me a favor, to which I couldn't have denied naturally.

    "She said that her brother is a student in the same university, and asked me to take care of him, since we'll be in a long relationship now. I asked the name of the student. She said that I'll recognise him with one of his very prominent quality. He whistles a lot." The moment the professor said this, all eyes in the classroom turned towards the boy who had whistled.

    The professor turned to that boy and said, "Young Man I didn't get My Ph. D in Psychology by sitting on my Ass."
  • 4 Husbands

    The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

    "He's a funeral director," she answered.

    "Interesting," the newsman thought.

    He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.

    The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

    She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
  • The Super Salesman

    A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. "Sorry, we don't need anyone..." the manager at the office replied.

    "You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone, anything, anytime!"

    "Well, we have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, then you have a job."

    He was gone about two hours and when he returned, he handed them two checks, one for $25,000 and another for $50,000.

    "How in the world did you do that?" the manager asked.

    "I told you, I'm the world's best salesman, I can sell anyone, anything, anytime!"

    "Did you get a urine sample?" the manager asked him.

    "What's that?" he asked.

    "Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000, the company requires a urine sample. Now take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples."

    He was gone about eight hours and the office was about to close, when in he walks with two five-gallon buckets, one in each hand.

    He put the buckets down, reached in his shirt pocket, took out two bottles of urine, set them on the desk and said, "Here's Mr. Jones' and this one is Mrs. Johnson's."

    "That's good," the manager said, "but what's in those two buckets?"

    "Well, I passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers' convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!"
  • What's in a Name?

    The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.

    "John," the new guy replied.

    The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

    The new guy sighed and said, "Darling.... My name is John Darling."

    "Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."