• Urgent Loan

    A man went into a bank and asked to borrow three thousand dollars for a month. The loan officer asked what collateral the man had.

    He replied: 'I've got a Rolls-Royce. Keep it until the loan is paid off. Here are the keys.'

    The loan officer arranged for the vehicle to be driven into the bank's underground car park for safekeeping and gave the man the fifteen hundred dollars.

    A month later, the man returned to the bank, repaid the fifteen-hundred-dollar loan plus ten dollars interest and retook possession of his Rolls-Royce.

    The loan officer was puzzled. 'There's one thing I don't understand, sir,' he said. 'Why would someone who drives a Rolls-Royce need to borrow fifteen hundred dollars?'

    The man replied: 'I had to go abroad for a month and where else could I store a Rolls-Royce for that length of time for ten dollars?'
  • Being a Teacher

    3 Log Swarg Ke Dwar Per Khade The.

    GOD: Sirf 1 Hi Andar Aayega...

    1st: Mai Pujari Tha. Saari Umar Aapki Sewa Ki Hai.

    2nd: Mai Doctor Tha. Saari Umar Logo Ki Swa Ki Hai.

    3rd: Mai Toh College Mein Assistant Professor Tha, Aur Maine Teaching Ke Sath,
    Attendance record,
    Defaulter lists,
    Official work,
    Administrative work,
    Social work,
    Counselling to students at the time of admission,
    Group discussions,
    Entrepreneurship cell.
    Valuation Toh Hamari University Mein Lagbhag Pure Saal Chalta Hai.
    Practical exams,
    External and Internal examiner,
    College magazine Aur newsletter,
    NAAC accreditation,
    Research Aur publication,
    Guiding students for M.Sc projects, M.Phil and Ph.D
    NSS/NCC/Scout guide activities,
    Student projects,
    Paper presentations,
    Intra college events, Seminars,
    Organizing conferences,
    Attending conferences,
    Short term training programs,
    Faculty Development programs,
    Admission Round duty,
    Term work,
    Paper Checking in college,
    Paper setting in college,
    Paper settings for university exams,
    Result analysis,
    Remedial classes,
    Student Clubs,
    Guest lectures,
    Annual sports,
    Traditional day,
    Annual gathering,
    Freshers party,
    Farewell party,
    Youth festival,
    Inter Collegiate & Inter Univ. Sports competitions,
    Patents meet,
    International Research Papers,
    Publishing Books,
    API score calculation,
    Training & Placement,
    Organizing Alumni meet,
    Staff meetings,
    Conducting Bridge courses,
    Documentation for various inspection Committees,
    Internal marks calculation,
    Creating Syllabus & Curriculum scheme,
    Board of Studies meetings,
    Preparing BOS exam panels,
    Other university meetings,
    Other college meetings,
    Academic council meetings,
    Examination committee meetings,
    Aur....... 2 to 8 hrs per week stay after working hrs,
    AUR..... Loksabha election duty, Assembly election duty, NMC election duty, Census duty Aur........

    GOD: Bas Kar Pagle! Ab rulayega kya? Tune to Narak Yatnaye Dharti par hi lee hai... Chal Andar Aajaa...!


    Salute to all Professors and all teaching community.
  • Bird Calls

    One evening an avid bird watcher stood in his backyard and heard an owl hoot. So he thought he'd give a hoot back. To his surprise and delight the bird hooted again. The next night the same scenario occurred.

    All Summer, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversations."

    Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter species communication, his wife, had a chat with her next door neighbor.

    "My husband spends his nights calling to owls," the wife commented.

    "That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."

    Then it dawned on them...
  • Superb Desi Puns

    1. Laxman to Seeta: Stay offline.

    2. Mayawati ctrl+all+dalit

    3. My watch is stuck between 2 and 2:30; it's a do or dhai situation.

    4. Vishwanathan Anand gets tense when the waiter asks, 'Check de doon'.

    5. A potato was grilled by cops; after two hours of torture, it gave in, 'Main Batata hun, main Batata hun...'

    6. A well-executed theft without any fingerprints is a stainless steal.

    7. Sita after seeing Hanuman in Lanka for the first time, 'Yahoo! Messenger'

    8. Friends pay food bills on a de-tu-de basis.

    9. 'I laughed yesterday' in Hindi, 'Michael Hussey'

    10. An old lady asked me the way to the temple; I replied, 'Magistrate'

    11. Rahul Dravid's wristwatch is technically a wall clock.

    13. Toll Booths are nothing but Bill Gates.

    14. The way to the cemetery, 'Go straight and take the last rite.'