|A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things... chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with.|
Finally, the uncle had an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go out shooting?"
This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he went, dogs in trail.
After a few hours, the nephew returned.
"How did you enjoy that?" asked the uncle.
"It was great!" exclaimed the nephew. "Got any more dogs"
|A very wealthy entrepreneur named John retired to the countryside. On one of his long walks, he passed a Mental Institution, and behind the chain link fence, he saw the patients fighting ferociously with each other.|
Hailing a man standing close to the fence, John asked what was going on.
The man replied, "This happens every day; there's nothing else to do."
So John went to see the director and offered to install a swimming pool at his expense. The director was very happy with the offer and accepted immediately.
Ten days later, John received a phone call from the director, requesting his presence the following day for the grand opening. Pleased, John accepted. He than decided to take a stroll out to the Institution to see how well the pool had been built.
As he approached the fence, he heard laughing and exited voices. A few yards later, he had a full view of a beautiful pool, complete with high tower diving boards, for which the patients were lining up to do cannonballs and swan dives.
Calling the same man at the fence, John said, "You guys like this, huh? I see no more fighting, isn't this fun?"
The man replied, "Sure is, Mister, but tomorrow it'll be even more fun when they put the water in it."
|As a plane passed through a severe storm, the turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning.|
One woman lost it completely. She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, "I'm too young to die," she cried.
Then she yelled, "If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?"
For a moment, there was silence.
Everyone stared at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a man from Indiana stood up in the rear of the plane. He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.
Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time.
No one moved.
He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest.
Then, he spoke... "Iron this -- and then get me a beer."
|An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years, until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.|
They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said: "Butter - 10 Francs"
In response, the lady added a sign to her own window: "Butter - 9 Francs"
The next day, the big supermarket had a new sign: "Butter - 8 Francs"
Sure enough, the day after the lady's sign now read: "7 Franc."
This went on for a while, until eventually one of the lady's customers pointed to the sign and said, "Madame, you cannot keep your prices so low for long. These big companies can use their buying power to sell products cheaper, but a little store like yours can never compete."
In response, the old lady bent forward conspiratorially and muttered, "Monsieur, I don't even sell butter."