• A Dinner Date

    Ladki: Chalo Aaj Kahin Bahar Chalte Hain Dinner Ke Liye.
    Ladka, (CA Student): Theek Hai.
    Ladki: Kahan Leke Chaloge?
    Ladka: Sher-E-Punjab Chalte Hain, Wahan Ki Prepration Achchi Hai Aur Rate Bhi Theek Hain.
    Ladki: Na!!! Badi Hi Sasti Aur Aur Bekaar Sa Hai. Let's Go To Barbeque Nation (Thoda Costly Restaurant).
    Ladka, Thodi Der Chup Rehne Ke Baad: Theek Hai, Jaisa Tum Kaho. Main Theek 7 Baje Aa Jaunga Tumhe Pick Karne.
    Ladka Theek 7 Baje Ladki Ko Uske Ghar Se Pick Karta Hai. Raaste Mein Ladka Kehta Hai: Tumhe Pata Hai Ek Baar Maine Apni Sister Ke Saath Gol-Gappe Khaane Ki Bet Lagayi.
    Ladki: Achcha?? Phir Kaun Jeeta?
    Ladka: Maine 30 Gol-Gappe Kha Liye Aur Jeet Gaya.
    Ladki: Bas 30? Ismein Kaun Si Badi Baat Hai.
    Ladka: Main Toh Is Se Bhi Jyada Kha Sakta Hun. Gol-Gappe Khaane Mein Mujhe Hara Mushkil Hai.
    Ladki: Rehne Do, Main Tumhe Bade Araam Se Hara Sakti Hun.
    Ladka: Aree Rehne Do, Tumhare Bas Ka Nahin Hai.
    Ladki: Achcha... Chalo Theek Hai, Ho Jaye Competition?
    Ladka: Rehne Do, Tum Haar Jaogi.
    Ladki: C'mon, Aaj Ho Hi Jaye... Raaste Mein Vo Ek Gol-Gappe Ke Stall Pe Rukte Hain Aur Competion Start.
    After About 30 Pani-Puri The Boy Gave Up. The Girl Was Also Full, Lekin Ladke Ko Haraane Ke Chakkar Mein Usne 2 Aur Kha Liye And Khushi Se Chilliati Hui Boli: Main Jeet Gayi... Tum Haar Gaye.
    Bill Aaya Sirf Rs 120/-

    Moral: The main aim of ‎Cost Accounting‬ is to Identify & Control the Cost
  • The Cutting Angle

    Two men were standing at adjacent urinals when one said to the other, "I'll bet you were born in Newark, Ohio."

    "Why, that's right!" said the second man in surprise.

    "And I'll bet you were circumcised when you were three days old."

    "Right again. But how'd you....."

    "And I'll bet it was done by old Doc Steadman."

    "Well, yes, but how did you know?" asked the second man in amazement.

    "Well, old Doc always cut them at a sixty-degree angle," explained the first guy, "and you're pissing on my shoe."
  • Best Friend?

    Frank and Jim, are walking down the street when Jim turns to Frank and says, "Frank, if you had two of those top-of-the-line Mercedes Benz cars, with all the gear, electric windows, CD player and all of that, exactly the same, would you give me one?"

    Frank says, "Jim, how long do we go back? Thirty years? We've been best friends since school, and if I had two of those Mercedes, top-of-the-line cars with all the trimmings, exactly the same, yeah, I would give the other one to you."

    So, they keep walking. After a couple of minutes, Frank turns to Jim and says, "Jim, if you had two of those luxury type yachts, you know, with all the modern conveniences, and they were exactly the same, would you give one of them to me?"

    Jim says, "Frank, you and me are like brothers, you were best man at my wedding, you attended my son's wedding, we have gone to the same lodge together for all these years. If I had two of those luxury yachts, exactly the same with all the modern conveniences, then yeah Frank, I really would give the other one to you."

    They keep walking. A couple of minutes later, Jim turns to Frank, "Frank, if you had two chickens..."

    "Now hold on there! Jim, you KNOW I've got two Chickens!"
  • Wooden Spoons

    One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she said, "Now don't forget to use wooden spoons."

    As I stirred my sauce, I contemplated the physics behind the mystery of the wooden spoon and decided it must have something to do with heat conduction. I approached Mrs. Jones to test my theory.

    "Why wooden spoons?" I asked.
    "Because, she replied, "if I have to sit here listening to all your metal spoons banging against metal pots, I'd go nuts!"
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