|Once Jeeto was riding in a fancy hotel's elevator.|
On the second floor, a young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She smoothed down the skirt of her hot pink dress, looks down at Desi Jeeto, raises her nose snootily, and arrogantly says: Giorgio Armani, $150 an ounce.
Just as she speaks, the elevator opens and a glamorous former supermodel, age 45 steps on. She's draped in a mink stole and wears tall leather boots from Italy. She hears what the younger woman has said to Jeeto and flips her hair and boasts: Chanel, $200 an ounce.
About two floors later, Jeeto has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she stops, turns around, making eye-contact with the two snotty women, and then she promptly bends over, farts... and says: Mooli... 10 Rs per kg...
|Pappu walks into a bookstore. Not looking for anything in particular. On his way to the back of the store, he spots something of interest. A book with a very interesting title: 'Dating for the New Millennium. What Women Want.'|
So he picks it up and opens it to a random page. Chapter 1 - 'The First Date'
He glances the chapter over for a few minutes, and rushes out of the bookstore to call a girl he's wanted to ask out for quite a while.
When he gets home, picks up the phone and calls her. She answers, "Hello?"
Pappu says, "Hi, Simmi? Listen, I was wondering if you would want to go see a movie with me tonight?"
Siimis, "Sure, I don't see anything wrong with that."
Pappu gets excited. He thought she'd say, 'No Way!' but she didn't. So, he decided to take it one step further.
Pappu asks, "Great, well how about dinner before the movie?"
Simmi replies, "Sure, that would be great too!"
"Fine, I'll pick you up about 9, you should have finished eating by then!"
|Three elderly women are talking about their troubles.|
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said Ruth, the 60-year-old, "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens."
"Ah, that's nothing," said the 70-year-old, Maxine. "When you're 70, you don't have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothing happens."
"Actually," said Gilda, the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked Ruth.
"No, I pee every morning at 6 a.m. I pee like a racehorse; no problem at all."
"Do you have trouble with your bowel movements?" Maxine questioned.
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30 a.m," Gilda responded.
Puzzled with this, Ruth said, "Let's get this straight. You pee every morning at 6 a.m. and poop every morning at 6:30 a.m. So what's so tough about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7."
|Bill had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them. Now ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he knew was coming.|
Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch. No one stood up during the pause to offer a reason 'why this couple should not be married'. His reception wasn't disrupted by streakers or smoke-bombs, and the car the couple was to take on their honeymoon was in perfect working order.
When the couple arrived at their hotel and entered the room, Bill even checked for cornflakes in the bed (a gag he had always loved). Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Satisfied that he had come away unscathed, the couple fell into bed.
Upon waking, the couple was ravenous so Bill called down to room service and asked, "I'd like to order breakfast for two."
At that moment, a soft voice from under the bed said, "Make that five."