• Proverds & Counter Proverbs

    Actions speak louder than words.
    vs
    The pen is mightier than the sword.

    Look before you leap.
    vs
    He who hesitates is lost.

    Many hands make light work.
    vs
    Too many cooks spoil the broth.

    Clothes make the man.
    vs
    Don't judge a book by its cover.

    Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
    vs
    Better safe than sorry.

    The bigger, the better.
    vs
    The best things come in small packages.

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
    vs
    Out of sight, out of mind.

    What will be, will be.
    vs
    Life is what you make it.

    Cross your bridges when you come to them.
    vs
    Forewarned is forearmed.

    What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
    vs
    One man's meat is another man's poison.

    With age comes wisdom.
    vs
    Out of the mouths of babes come all wise sayings.

    The more, the merrier.
    vs
    Two's company; three's a crowd.
  • Home-Cooked Meal

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

    His mother had an idea, "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?"

    He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.

    "The evening was a disaster," he moaned.

    "Why, didn't she come over?" asked his mother.

    "Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook...."
  • Primitive People

    A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle.

    "Can you imagine, a people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?"

    When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast."
  • How To Ask A Girl Out

    A guy walks into a bookstore. Not looking for anything in particular. On his way to the back of the store, he spots something of interest. A book, with a very interesting title, "Dating for the New Millennium. What Women Want."

    So he picks it up and opens it to a random page.

    "Chapter 1 The First Date"

    So, he glances the chapter over for a few minutes, and rushes out of the bookstore to call a friend whom he's wanted to ask out for quite a while. When he gets home, picks up the phone and calls her.

    She answers, "Hello?"

    He says, "Hi, Jessica? It's me. Listen, I was wondering if you would want to go see a movie with me tonight?"

    She says, "Sure, I don't see anything wrong with that."

    He gets excited. He thought she'd say, "No Way!" but she didn't. So, he decided to take it one step further. He asks, "Great, well how about dinner before the movie?"

    She replies, "Sure, that would be great too!"

    "Fine, I'll pick you up about 9, you should have finished eating by then!"