|A man who makes coffin was on his way to deliver one of his coffins when his car broke down.|
Trying not to be late he put the coffin on his head and began heading to his destination.
Some policemen saw him & wanted to make some money off him so they challenged him, "Hey, what are you carrying and where are you going?"
The man said, "I do not like where I was buried so I am relocating!!!"
|FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.|
REAL FRIENDS: Is the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say 'I'M HOME!'
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock the person out that talked bad about you.
|A King of a Kingdom called his Prime Minister and asked, like there are Brilliant people in his State will there be Idiots available?|
Minister said there will be.
King then ordered his Minister to go around the State search and bring 5 of such Idiots and present to him in the Council.
Minister was awestruck since you can identify brilliant people by conducting some form of competition, but how to identify Idiots. However he goes around the State and after a month comes back with 2 such people. There after following is the conversation between King and Minister.
King: Dear Minister I think you are poor in counting, I asked for 5 people and you have brought only 2.
Minister: Your Highness please let me explain and then you will know yourself.
King: OK. Go ahead.
Minister: When I was going around the State I found this guy carrying a huge Gunny Bag on his head and travelling in a Bullock Cart. When I asked he said that if he keeps the bag in the Cart it will be overloaded and hurt the Bulls. I realised he is the 5th Idiot and brought him to you.
King: Excellent. Next.
Minister: I saw the other guy was taking his Buffalo to the roof top of his house for grazing where grass was found grown. I realised he is the 4th Idiot and brought him to you.
King: Fine. Next.
Minister: When there are so many problems in the functioning of this kingdom, leaving those entire aside I have been going around the State for a month wasting my time in searching for Idiots, hence I am the 3rd Idiot.
King: Laughs out loud. Next.
Minister: Instead of solving all the problems that are there in the Kingdom, you have been looking for Idiots in your State, hence you are the 2nd Idiot.
Hearing this entire Council was scared and there was pin drop silence.
King: Fine there is truth in your statement. Who is the 1st Idiot?
Minister: Your Highness when there are so much of work in the Office and Home to attend to, leaving all this aside person who is reading this Story to know who is the 1st Idiot in 'What's App' is the 1st Idiot.
|Lexophile: (Lovers of Words) is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."|
A competition to see who can come up with the best lexphillies is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
... When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
... When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
... The batteries were given out free of charge.
... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
... A will is a dead giveaway.
... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
... A boiled egg is hard to beat.
... When you've seen one shopping Center you've seen a mall.
... Police were called to a day care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
... Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
... A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
... When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
... When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
... Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
... Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.