• Damn!

    Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter "Hoover!" under his breath.

    On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard.
    "Hoover!" again, a little louder this time.

    On the third hole, a miracle occurred and Fr. Murphy's drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! "Praise be to God!"

    He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of going in. "HOOVER!!!!"

    By this time, his opponent couldn't withhold his curiosity any longer, and asked why the priest said, "Hoover".

    "It's the biggest dam I know!"
  • Golf Rider

    Four old geezers came into the pro shop after playing 18 holes and were exhausted.

    The pro asked if they had a good game and the first old guy said, "Pretty good. I had three riders today."

    The second old guy said, "I had five riders."

    The third old man said, "I had seven riders, same as last time."

    The fourth said, "I beat my old record. I had twelve riders. I'll buy!"

    After they shuffled into the bar, another member said to the pro, "I've played golf for years and thought I knew all the lingo, but what in the heck is a 'rider'?"

    The pro replied, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to get back in the golf cart and ride to it!"
  • The Ladies Tees

    SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY, a woman called her husband's lifelong golfing buddy.

    "What's the matter ?" asked the friend.

    "It's Sam," she said. "I don't know where I went wrong."

    "What do you mean ?"

    "I was cleaning out Sam's closet," the wife explained," and I found several boxes with miniskirt blouses and pantyhose in them."


    "But they aren't mine and when I asked Sam about them, he told me they were his."

    "There's nothing to get upset about," the friend assured her. "Everybody knows that Sam will do any thing to be able to hit from the ladies' tee."
  • Equal Privileges!

    A country club didn't allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week. The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women's club and became very active.

    After about 6 months, the club board received a letter from the women's club complaining about the men, urinating on the golf course. Naturally, they just ignored the matter.

    After another 6 months, they received another letter reminding them of the previous letter and demanding action.

    After due deliberation they sent the women a letter advising them that they had been granted equal privileges!