|SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY, a woman called her husband's lifelong golfing buddy.|
"What's the matter ?" asked the friend.
"It's Sam," she said. "I don't know where I went wrong."
"What do you mean ?"
"I was cleaning out Sam's closet," the wife explained, "and I found several boxes with miniskirt blouses and pantyhose in them."
"But they aren't mine- and when I asked Sam about them, he told me they were his."
"There's nothing to get upset about," the friend assured her. "Everybody knows that Sam will do any thing to be able to hit from the ladies' tee."
|During his physical examination, a doctor asked a man about his physical activity level.|
He described a typical day this way:
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7km through some pretty rough terrain.
I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles.
I got sand in my shoes and my eyes.
I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills.
I took a few 'leaks' behind some big trees.
The mental stress of it all left me shattered.
At the end of it all I drank eight beers"
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man."
"No," he replied, "I'm just a shit golfer."
|These two guys were approaching the first tee.|
The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don't you try this ball?"
He draws a green golf ball out of his bag, "You can't lose it."
His friend replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?!"
The first man replies, "I'm serious, you can't lose it. If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it."
Obviously, his friend doesn't believe him, but he shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced. The friend says, "Wow! That's incredible! Where did you get that ball?!"
The man replies, "I found it."
|Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?"|
The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders today."
The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever. I had five."
The third old guy said, "I had 7 riders, the same as last time."
The last old man said, "I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today."
After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, "I have been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what's a rider?"
The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to get in the golf cart and ride to it."