• 18 Holes of Golf

    18 Holes of Golf
    Harry, a golfing enthusiast if there ever was one, arrived home from the club to an irate, ranting wife.

    "I'm leaving you, Harry," his wife announced bitterly. "You promised me faithfully that you'd be back before six and here it is almost nine. It just can't take that long to play 18 holes of golf."

    "Honey, wait," said Harry. "Let me explain. I know what I promised you, but I have a very good reason for being late. Fred and I tee'd off right on time and everything was find for the first three holes. Then, on the fourth tee Fred had a stroke. I ran back to the clubhouse but couldn't find a doctor. And, by the time I got back to Fred, he was dead. So, for the next 15 holes, it was hit the ball, drag Fred, hit the ball, drag Fred...
  • Equal Privileges

    Equal Privileges
    A country club didn’t allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week.

    The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women’s club and became very active.

    After about 6 months, the club board received a letter from the women’s club complaining about the men, urinating on the golf course. Naturally, they just ignored the matter.

    After another 6 months, they received another letter reminding them of the previous letter and demanding action.

    After due deliberation they sent the women a letter advising them that they had been granted equal privileges!
  • Respect For Funeral Procession

    Respect For Funeral Procession
    Seems George was playing his usual eighteen holes on Saturday afternoon. Teeing off from the 17th, he sliced into the rough over near the edge of the fairway. Just as he was about to chip out, he noticed a long funeral procession going past on a nearby street.

    Reverently, George removed his hat and stood at attention until the procession had passed. Then he continued his game, finishing with a birdie on the eighteenth.

    Later, at the clubhouse, a fellow golfer greet George, "Say, that was a nice gesture you made today, George."

    "What do you mean?" asked George.

    "Well, it was nice of you to take off your cap and stand respectfully when that funeral went by," the friend replied.

    "Oh, yes," said George. "Well, we were married 17 years, you know."
  • Enough gas!

    Two couples went out golfing together. The men hit first from the men's tee and walked with the ladies to their tee box.

    The first lady took a mighty swing at the ball, missing it completely, while passing some gas rather loudly in the process.

    No one commented.

    She addressed the ball again but this time she passed just a little gas as she made contact with the ball, topping it and moving it only a short distance.

    She said, "I wonder why it didn't go any further?"

    One of the men said, "I don't think you gave it enough gas!"