• Best Vacation Package!

    A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the offer and heads off for a weekend of fun in the sun.

    He arrives and plays a round of golf. It cost him a buck. When he goes for dinner that evening, it costs him another buck. His room is only a buck a day! The day before he's to check out, he heads out to play a last round and stops by the pro shop and charges a sleeve of three balls to his room.

    When he's checking out next morning, he looks at the bill and sees:
    Golf: $1.00
    Dinner: $1.00
    Room: $1.00.
    Sleeve of golf balls: $3,000.00

    He asks the Manager, "What is this all about? Everything is supposed to cost one dollar, and you charged me three thousand for three golf balls?"

    "I'm sorry, sir, said the manager, but you didn't read the fine print in our promotional brochure. That's what our golf balls cost."

    "Well, said the man, If I wanted to spend that kind of money, I could've gone to that luxury hotel across the street and paid them a thousand dollars a day for a room. At least I would've known what I was paying for!"

    "That's right, sir, you could have, said the manager. Over there they get you by the room. Over here we get you by the balls!"
  • Golf Clubs!!!

    A golfer is walking down to his golf course, carrying his clubs, when he sees an Arab being held up at gunpoint.

    He pulls out a wedge, creeps up behind the gunman and smashes it over the back of his head, knocking him unconscious.

    "You probably saved my life," says the grateful Arab. "I am a member of the Saudi Royal Family and I have the power and money to give you anything you desire as a reward."

    The golfer glances at his golf bag. "Well, some golf clubs would be nice," he says.

    Two weeks later, the Sheikh's secretary calls up.

    We've got your golf clubs," she says, "but the Sheikh would like to apologise to you in advance: two of them don't have swimming pools."
  • Green Balls!

    A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning. Finally the pro asks her what she wants.

    "I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains.

    The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.

    As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?"

    "Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!"
  • Golf Emergency

    A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses.

    "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.

    The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt.

    His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.

    "I'm dying here and you're putting?"

    "Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."

    "Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.

    "No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."
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