• Blind Golfers!

    A priest, a doctor and a lawyer were playing golf together one morning, but were stuck behind a particularly slow group. All three were complaining about how long the group were taking on each hole. Finally they spotted the green keeper, so they decided to have a word with him.

    "That's a group of blind firefighters," explained the green keeper. "They lost their sight while saving our clubhouse last year. So we let them play here any time free of charge."

    The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them tonight."

    The doctor said, "That's a good idea. And I'm going to consult all my textbooks to see if there isn't anything that can be done for them."

    The lawyer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
  • It's a Small World

    Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace.

    Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back.

    His boss asks what the problem is.

    "Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress," complained Joe.

    Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around.

    Joe asked, "What's wrong?"

    "It's a small, small world Joe, and you're fired."
  • Ten Best Remarks by a Caddie

    10. Golfer: Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake.
    Caddy: Think you can keep your head down that long?

    9. Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
    Caddy: Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth.

    8. Golfer: Do you think my game is improving?
    Caddy: Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.

    7. Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?
    Caddy: Eventually.

    6. Golfer: You've got to be the worst caddy in the world.
    Caddy: I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.

    5. Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction.
    Caddy: It's not a watch - it's a compass.

    4. Golfer: How do you like my game?
    Caddy: Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.

    3. Golfer: Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
    Caddy: The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day.

    2. Golfer: This is the worst course I've ever played on.
    Caddy: This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago.

    and the #1 best caddy comment

    1. Golfer: That can't be my ball, it's too old.
    Caddy: It's been a long time since we teed off, sir.
  • Scratch Golfer

    Two women were paired together as partners in a club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time.

    After introductions, the first golfer asked, "What's your handicap?"

    "Oh, I'm a scratch golfer," the other replied.

    "Really!" exclaimed the first woman, suitably impressed that she was paired up with her.

    "Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!