|10. Golfer: Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake.|
Caddy: Think you can keep your head down that long?
9. Golfer: I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddy: Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth.
8. Golfer: Do you think my game is improving?
Caddy: Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.
7. Golfer: Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?
6. Golfer: You've got to be the worst caddy in the world.
Caddy: I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.
5. Golfer: Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction.
Caddy: It's not a watch - it's a compass.
4. Golfer: How do you like my game?
Caddy: Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf.
3. Golfer: Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day.
2. Golfer: This is the worst course I've ever played on.
Caddy: This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago.
and the #1 best caddy comment
1. Golfer: That can't be my ball, it's too old.
Caddy: It's been a long time since we teed off, sir.
|Two women were paired together as partners in a club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time.|
After introductions, the first golfer asked, "What's your handicap?"
"Oh, I'm a scratch golfer," the other replied.
"Really!" exclaimed the first woman, suitably impressed that she was paired up with her.
"Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!
|Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing.|
Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golf ball. It sat in the same spot.
So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle.
Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?"
Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."
|Paul and his buddies were hanging out and planning a 5-day golf trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go because his wife wouldn't let him. |
After a lot of teasing and name calling, Paul headed home totally frustrated.
The following week when Paul's buddies arrived at the golf resort, they were shocked to see Paul sitting in the lobby, drinking a beer, holding his putter.
"How did you talk your wife into letting you go, Paul?"
"I didn't have to," Paul replied. "Last I night I slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then, my wife sneaked up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise.' When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and said, 'Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed, and you can do whatever you want'... so here I am.