• Look At My Abs!

    After Doing 50 Pushups Goldie was checking himself out in front of the Mirror.

    He proudly asked his Wife, "Dekhe Mere Abs???"

    She replied, "Haahn, Dekh Rahi Hun. "Jis Din Se Maine Tumse Shaadi Ki Hai Tab Se Tumhare Mein Mujhe Aib hi Aib Dikhte Hain.... Aib Ke Siva Tumhare Mein Hai hi Kya...
    "Par Ganimat Hai Pehle Sirf Mujhe Dikhte The............ Ab Tumhe Bhi Dikh Rahe Hain."
  • What's Tournament?

    Jaisa Ki Aap Jante Hain Ki Apna Banta English Sikh Raha Tha Aur Santa Ki Help Leta Rahta Tha.

    Ek Din Usne Santa Se Puchha: Santa Tournament Ka Kya Matlab Hota Hai?

    Santa: Tournament... Yeh Jo Ladkiyaan Kaan Mein Jhumke Pahanti Hai, Use Tournament Kahte Hai.

    Sath Mein Khadey Unke Friend Ghanta Ne Ye Suna Aur Gusse Se Bole: Abey Santa... Bewakoof... Duffer Kahin Ke... Usko Ornaments Kahte Hai.

    Santa: O Yaar Ghanta, Ek Kaan Me Pehno Toh Ornament Aur Agar Dono Kaan Mein Pehno Toh Two Ornament Matlab Tournament...

    Banta Aur Ghanta Taliyaan Baja Ke Bole: Waah Yaar Santa... Tu Vaakiye Mein English Ka Master Hai.
  • Waiting For Sunny Leone

    Pati: Arey Kya Hua, Hamare Ghar Ke Bahar Ye Itni Bheed Kyun Hai...

    Patni: Kuch Nahin, Maine Padosiyon Se Kaha Ki Aaj Hamare Damad Aa Rahe Hain Mumbai Se.

    Pati: Hain!!! Hamare Damad Ke Aane Se Inka Kya Lena-Dena? Inhone Kyun Bheed Laga Rakhi Hai?

    Ptni: Vo Ji... Darasal Aajkal English Main Seekh Rahi Hun Na, Isliye Maine Ye Baat In Sab Se English Mein Kahi Hai.

    Pati: Kya Kaha Tumne English Mein???

    Patni: Maine Kaha Ki Aaj Hamare Ghar Sunny Leone Aa Rahe Hain.

    Pati: Bhagwan Ke Liya Band Karo Apni Ye Angrezi... Vo Sunny Leone Nahin Son-In-Law Hota Hai.
  • Software Ke Phool

    Guru Dutt is reborn and makes a film, called Software ke Phool. Sahir Ludhianvi saheb revises his old song for the new venture.

    It goes like this:
    Yeh Document, Yeh Meetings, Yeh Features ki Duniya,
    Yeh Insaan Ke Dushman Cursors Ki Duniya,
    Yeh Deadlines Ke BookHe Management Ki Duniya;
    Yeh Product Agar Ban Bhi Jaaye Toh Kya Hai?

    Yahaan Ek Khilona Hai Programmer Ki Hasti,
    Yeh Basti Hai Murda Bug-fixers Ki Basti,
    Yahan Par Toh Raises Hai, Inflation Se Bhi Sasti,
    Yeh Review Agar Ho Bhi Jaaye Toh Kya Hai?

    Har Ek Keyboard Ghayal, Har Ek Login Pyaasi,
    Excel Mein Uljhan, Winword Mein Udaasi;
    Yeh Office Hai Ya Aalame Microsoft,
    Yeh Release Agar Ho Bhi Jaaye Toh Kya Hai?

    Jalaa Do Isse, Phoonk Daalo Yeh Monitor,
    Mere Saamne Se Hataa Daalo Yeh Modem,
    Tumhaara Hai Tumhi Sambhalo Yeh Computer,
    Yeh Product Agar Chal Bhi Jaaye Toh Kya Hai?
    Yeh Product Agar Chal Bhi Jaaye Toh Kya Hai!!!

    Note: Try actually humming these lyrics in the original tune sung by Mohd. Rafi, it fits so well.
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