• Santa Ke Kisse

    Santa Apni Biwi Ke Saath So Raha Tha Tabhi Achanak Bolta Hai: Bheega Sa Lagta Hai Aalam Mujhe, Bheegi Si Lagti Hai Subah Mujhe, Bheega Lag Raha Hai Saara Jahan Mujhe... Bheega
    Jeeto: Kisne Kaha Tha Ki Raat Ko Daba Kar Beer Piyo... Oye Shayar Ki Aulad Tumne Bistar Pe Peshaab Kar Diya Hai.

    Santa Ko Loose Motions Ki Problem Ho Gayi Toh Vo Doctor Ke Paas Gaya Aur Bola: Doctor Ji, Mere Dast Rukne Ka Naam Nahin Le Rahe, Kuch Achcha Sa Ilaaz Bataiiye.
    Doctor: Tumne Kela Try Kiya Tha?
    Santa: Haan Doctor Saab, Kiya Toh Tha... Lekin Jab Nikaala Toh Phir Suru Ho Gaye.

    Biwi Se Pareshaan Santa Ne Suicide Karne Ki Decide Kar Liya Aur Paanchve Floor Se Kudne Hi Waala Tha Ki Uski Biwi Ne Andar Se Awaaz Lagayi: Aji Sunte Ho, Meri Kuch College Days Ki Friends Aayi Hain... Andar Aa Jao... Aapki Pechaan Karwa Deti Hun Sab Se...
    Santa: Haan... Haan... Ek Minute Mein Aaaya.

    Santa Ka Promotion Hua Aur Vo Apni Company Mein Manager Ban Gaya. Ghar Aatey Hi Apni Biwi Jeeto Se Bola: O Jeeto Ji, Ab Tum Ek Manager Ke Saath Ghumogi Aur Shopping Karogi Aur Movies Dekhogi Aur Aish Karogi...
    Jeeto, Khusi Se: Achcha... Sach Mein... Kis Ke Saath... Sharma Ji Ke Saath Ya Gupta Ki Saath...???

    Ek Bike Waale Ne Address Puchne Ke Liye Santa Se Pucha: Excuse Me.... Mujhe Rose Garden Jaana Hai...
    Santa: Toh Jaa Na Bhai... Aise Sabko Ruk-Ruk Ke Batayega Toh Pahunchga Kab?

    Bhikhari: 10 Rs Ka Sawaal Hai!
    Santa: Pucho... Pucho... Kya Pata Mujhe Aate Hi Ho!!
    Us Din Se Bhikhari Ne Bheekha Maangna Chod Di....
  • Upset Stomach

    Ek Bar Santa Apni Girlfriend Ke Ghar Dinner Par Gaya. Us Din Santa Ka Pet Kuch Kharab Tha, Phir Bhi Table Par Shaandar Dinner Rakha Dekh Ke Uske Muh Mein Pani Aa Gaya Aur Santa Ne Daba Kar Dinner Kiya.

    Thodi Der Ke Baad Santa Ke Pet Mein Gud-Gud Shuru Ho Gayi Aur Pad Ki Awaaz Aayi... Poooooooo....

    Saare Logo Ne Santa Ki Taraf Dekha Aur Uske Baad Santa Ke Paas Baithe Hue Ladki Ke Kutte Tommy Ki Taraf Dekha.

    Ladki Ka Baap: Tommy...! Chalo Bhago Yaha Se.

    Tommy Wahi Baitha Raha. Santa Ne Socha Chalo Achchha Hua Kisi Ko Pata Nahi Chala Aur Ilzam Tommy Pe Lag Gaya.

    Do Minute Baad Santa Ne Phir Pad Diya... Poooooo.... Ladki Ka Baap Gusse Me Bola: Tommyyyyy, Maine Kaha Jao Yahan Se.

    Santa Phir Se Bahut Khush Hua. Girlfriend Ne Bhi Santa Ki Taraf Dekha Aur Phir Tommy Ko Dekh Ke Boli: Ye Kutta Bhi Na. Tommy... Chalo Jao, Hato Santa Ke Paas Se.

    Thodi Der Baad Phir Se Santa Ke Pet Ne Saath Chhod Diya Aur Ab Ki Baar Ka Poooo Kuch Zyada Hi Tez Aawaz Se Nikla Pooooooooooooo.......

    Ladki Ka Baap: Oye Tommy.... Kab Se Kah Rahe Hain Ki Jao Yahan Se... Jaata Kyun Nahin... Jab Wo Tere Upar Potty Kar Dega Tab Hatega Kya Wahan Se....????
  • Toh Phir Katwa Le

    Wife: Jaanu Main Apne Baal Katwa Loon????

    Husband: Katwa Le...

    Wife: Magar Itni Mushkil Se Lambay Kiye The...

    Husband: Toh Phir Na Katwa...

    Wife: Magar Ajkal Chhotay Baal Ka Fashion Hai...

    Husband: Toh Phir Katwa Le...

    Wife: Magar Chhotay Balon Ki Choti Nahi Banti....

    Husband: Toh Phir Na Katwaa...

    Wife: Soch Rahi Hun Experiment Kar Ke Dekh Loon...

    Husband: Toh Phir Katwa Le...

    Wife: Lekin Agar Kharab Ho Gaye Toh?

    Husband: Toh Phir Na Katwa...

    Wife: Meri Friends Kehti Hain Ki Mere Face Cut Pe Chhote Baal Suit Karenge...

    Husband: Toh Phir Katwa Le...

    Wife: Agar Suit Na Kiye Toh Aap Responsible Hongey....

    Husband: Toh Phir Na Katwa...

    Wife: Vaise Chhotey Baal Sambhalna Asaan Hota Hai...

    Husband: Toh Phir Katwa Le...

    Wife: Dar Lagta Hai Kaheen Bhadde Na Lagein....

    Husband: Toh Phir Na Katwa....

    Wife: Achcha Ab Decide Kar Lia Maine... Katwa He Leti Hun...

    Husband: Toh Phir Katwa Le...

    Wife: Toh Phir Kab Chalengy ????

    Husband: Toh Phir Na Katwa...

    Wife: Main Ammi Ki araf Janey Ki Baat Kar Rahi Hun...

    Husband: Toh Phir Katwa Le....

    Wife: Aap Kya Keh Rahay Hain???? Apki Tabiyat Toh Theek Hai ?

    Husband: Toh Phir Na Katwa....

    Yeh Husband Bechara Ab Agra Ke Pagal Khanay Main Baitha Sara Din Yehi Bolta Rehta Hai....

    Toh Phir Katwa Le...
    Toh Phir Na Katwa.
  • Dummy Partner

    Once Mrs. Aggarwal was being cross examined in Court by a lawyer.

    Mrs. Aggarwal had said that she was a partner in her husband's firm, but the lawyer of the opposite party was trying to prove that she was only a dummy partner (for reducing income tax).

    The lawyer kept asking her what exactly she did for the firm.

    At first she hee'd and hawed, but ultimately, when the lawyer kept repeating his question, she said in exasperation: Tum Itne Bewaqoof Vakeel Ho.... Itna Bhi Na Samajh Paye? Mera Kaam Hai Firm Ke Liye Partners Produce Karna.
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