• Aap Chutiye Hain!

    1. Agar aap Black Goggles, pistol aur fuddu se Coat mein apna DP set karte hai to aap cool nahi @aapchutiyehain.

    2. Mall ke andar shades pehen kar ghoomne wale, jo apne aap aapko dude samajhte hain krupa dhyan de Aap dude nahi @AapChutiyeHain.

    3. Daru pi ke har jagah ulti karne wale "experienced" drinker, everybody at the party knows ki @AapChutiyeHain.

    4. Agar aap apni crush se uske paanch baar please bolne pe rakhi bandhwane ko tayyar ho jaate hain, toh kasam Rakhi Sawant ki, @AapChutiyeHain.

    5. Apne birthdayy pe party nahi dene wale dost, agar aaj mere birthday pe party maangte ho to, aapke birthday cake pe bhi yahi likha hoga @aapchutiyehain.

    6. Agar apko lagta hai ki Office Mail mein 'As soon as possible' likhne se kaam jaldi ho jaayega, toh MS Outlook ki kasam @AapChutiyeHain.

    7. Agar aap GYM ke liye 40k 'upfront' dete hain or 1st floor ke liye bhi lift ka upyog kartey hain toh Adnaan Saami bhi kahega @AapChutiyeHain.

    8. Agar aap bhari hui Mumbai local mein ipad nikaal ke temple run khelne khade ho jaate hein toh Steve jobs bhi kahega @AapChutiyeHain.

    9. Agar aap apni splendour ka silencer nikalwa ke sochte hai ab wo sports bike type lagegi toh mechanic bhi kahega @AapChutiyeHain.
  • Army Training Ke Dauran...

    Officer ne Santa se pucha: Ye Haath me kya hai?

    Santa: Sir, Banduk hai...!

    Officer: Ye Banduk Nahi! Tumhari Izzat hai, Shaan hai, Ye Tumhari MAA hai MAA.!!

    Phir Officer ne dusre sipahi, Banta se pucha: Ye Hath me kya hai?

    Banta: Sir, ye Santa ki Maa hai, Uski Izzat hai, Uski Shaan hai aur Hamari bhi Maa jaisi hai, Maa jaisi...
  • The Importance of Number 4

    4 dino ka pyar o rabba lambi judai.

    4 dino ki chandni, phir andheri raat.

    4 kitabein toh padh li, ab 4 paise bhi kama lo.

    Akhir hamari bhi 4 logon me koi izzat hai.

    Ye baat 4 log sunenge to kya kahenge... ke 4 din ki aayi bahu ne ye kamal kiya.

    4 din toh ghar mein tik ke baith jati.

    Tum se kya 4 kadam bhi nahi chala jata?

    Wo aai aur 4 bateein suna ke chali gayi.

    4 bottle vodka kaam mera roz ka...
  • Generous Santa

    Ek din Santa office jaane ke liye bus mein chada toh conductor ne haste hua pucha, "Sir, kal raat theek-thaak ghar pahunch gaye the aap? Kahin gire toh nahin, ya ghar ka raasta toh nahin bhule ghar ka?"

    Santa, gusse mein, "Kyun? Kal raat ko mujhe kya hua tha?"

    Conductor, "Kal raat aap nashe mein tunn the."

    Santa, "Tum kaise kah sakte ho ki main nashe mein tha, hamne toh aapas mein baat bhi nahin ki koi?"

    Conductor, "Sir ji, vo aisa hai ki kal raat jab aap bus mein baithe hue the tab ek madam bus mein chadhi, aur aapne uthkar unhe seat offer ki thi."

    Santa, hairaani se, "Toh kya kisi lady ko seat offer karna gunah hai?"

    Conductor, haste hue, "Gunah toh nahin hai sir, per us time bus mein sirf 4-6 hi passenger the."