• When Santa Caught Spying...

    Santa was caught by Mughal soldiers and they took him to their king Akbar.

    Akbar: Kaun ho tum?

    Santa: Jahanpanah, main Santa hun.

    Akbar: Itni raat tum hamare mahal ke paas kya rahe the?

    Santa, ghabraate hue: Ji... main...vo... kuch nahin.. bas aise hi...

    Akbar: Sipahiyon, isko bandi bana do...

    Santa pleads: Nahin Jahanpanah, aisa mat kariye, please mujhe banda hi rehne do.
  • Caught Smoking!

    Chintu chup ke cigarette pee raha tha, tabhi us ke papa aa gaye. Chintu ne ghabrahat mein, jaldi se cigarette shirt ki jeb mein chupa li.

    Papa, gusse se: Kya tum cigarette pee rahe the?

    Chintu: Nahin toh...

    Papa: Toh phir tumhari shirt se yeh dhuwan kyun nikal raha hai?

    Chintu: Papa aap ne baat hi dil jalane wali ki hai toh dhuan toh niklega hi.
  • How to Stop Telemarketing Calls...

    I called at Vodafone Customer Care, a girl picked up the phone.

    Girl: Vodafone care mein aapka swaagat hai.

    Me: Thank you.

    Girl: Mein aapki kya sahaayta kar sakti hun??

    Me: Kya aap shaadi karna chahti hain mujhse??

    Girl: Jee aapne galat number laga diya hai.

    Me: Nahin nahin, maine sahi number lagaya hai, aap shaadi karengi?

    Girl: Jee mein shaadi main interested nahin hun.

    Me: Arre madam sun toh lijiye ek baar.

    Girl: Not interested.

    Me: Love marriage karengi toh honeymoon Switzerland mein, arrange marriage karengi toh Paris mein.

    Girl: Jee mein aapse shaadi karna hee nahinchahti toh aap offer kyun de rahe hain??

    Me: Court marriage ka expense 10,000 Rs, normal wedding ka expense 2,00,000 Rs.

    Girl: Aapko samajh nahin aata ki mujhe shaadi nahin karni phir bhi aap samajhte nahin.

    Me: Ab pata chala madam aapko humara dard, jab hume aapke offers mein interest nahin hota phir bhi aap humaari naak mein ungli karne baar baar call karti rehti hain.

    Girl shocked, I rocked....
  • Alcohol Therapy

    Apni Sharaab Kee Lat se pareshaan Santa Doctor Ke Paas Gaya.

    Santa: Doctor Sahab.... Meri Sharaab Chhudaao !

    Doctor: Roz Kitni Peete Ho ?

    Santa: 4 Peg !

    Doctor: Aaj Se 1 Peg Kam Kar Do Aur 1 Hafte Ke Baad Mujhse Milo.

    1 Hafte Baad....
    Doctor: Abhi Kitni Pee Rahe Ho Roz ?

    Santa: Jitni Aapne Bataayi Thee... Sirf 3 Peg !

    Doctor: Aaj Se 1 Peg Aur Kam Kar Do Aur Agle Hafte Mujhe Phir Se Milo.

    Phir 1 Hafte Ke Baad...
    Doctor: Ab Kitne Peg Le Rahe Ho ?

    Santa: 2 Peg Sir !

    Doctor: Good ! Ab Aaj Se Daily Sirf 1 Peg Lena Hai, Theek Hai? Santa: Par Doctor Sahab... 1 Peg Mein Poori Bottle... Peg Kuchh Jyada Tight Nahi Ho Jayega ???