A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked.
"Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer.
"What do you do?"
The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The other day I meant to say, 'The devil is the father of liars,' but instead I said 'The devil is the father of lawyers,' so I let it go."
Counsel: "Are you a qualified pathologist?"
Counsel: "On 21st June, 2013, do you recall being at Regina Hospital in the evening?"
Counsel: "And do you recall examining a deceased person called Harold Schindler there at that time?"
Witness: "Yes." Counsel: "Approximately what time did you start the autopsy?"
Witness: "At about 7.30 p.m."
Counsel: "And Mr. Schindler was dead at that time?"
Witness: "No, he was sitting on the table asking why I was doing an autopsy on him."
Ever wondered how a lawyer could write a love letter to his girlfriend?
Sub: Offer of love!
Dearest Ms ......,
1. That I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 7th of August (Wednesday).
2. That with reference to the meeting held between us on the 11th of Aug. at 15:00hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
3. That our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.
4. That needless to say and of course, upon completion of probation, I propose that there will be a continuous 'on the job training' and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.
5. That I propose that the expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.
6. That I further propose that later, based on our mutual performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
7. That however I am broad-minded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
8. That I humbly request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.
9. That I wish to add here that I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation.
Please reply if you desire so...
Adv for y
Few centuries ago, a Law teacher came across a student who was willing to learn but was unable to pay the fees.
The student struck a deal saying, "I will pay your fee the day I win my first case in the court."
Teacher agreed and proceeded with the law course. When the course was finished and teacher started pestering the student to pay up the fee, the student reminded him of the deal and pushed days.
Fed up with this, the teacher decided to sue the student in the court of law and both of them decided to argue for themselves.
The teacher put forward his argument saying, "If I win this case,as per the court of law, the student has to pay me as the case is about his non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, student will still pay me because he would have won his first case. So either way I will have to get the money."
Equally brilliant student argued back saying, "If I win the case, as per the court of law, I don't have to pay anything to the teacher as the case is about my non-payment of dues. And if I lose the case, I don't have to pay him because I haven't won my first case yet, So either way, I am not going to pay the teacher anything."
This is one of the greatest paradoxes ever recorded in history.