|Believe it or not.... Lawyers are the most preferred husbands for ladies. Surprised? Don't be, I asked a girl why do you prefer a lawyer to marry?|
She Said: They bow their head while entering the room and again while going out.
They say 'your honor,' 'my lord' before and after every world.
They don't have male ego because they wear gown, they go to a BAR wher liquor is not served.
More importantly they never question the judgement at least before the person who gives it, whether they like it or not. What more do I require?
|Excerpts taken from court proceedings that's really silly and funny too. These are actually things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.|
Q : What gear were you in, at the moment of impact?
A : Gucci sweats and Reebok!
Q : This myasthenia gravis, does it effect your memory at all?
A : Yes.
Q : And in what ways does it effect your memory?
A : I forget!
Q : You forget? Can you give us an example of something you've forgotten???
Q : How old is your son, the one living with you?
A : Thirty-three or thirty-six, I can't remember which.
Q : How long has he lived with you?
A : Forty-three years.
Q : What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A : He said, "Where am I, Christy?"
Q : And why did that upset you?
A : My name is Evon!
Q : Now Doctor, isn't it true when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A : Did you actually pass the bar exam?
Q : The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
Q : Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q : So, the date of your conception of your baby was July 9th?
A : Yes.
Q : And what were you doing at that time?
Q : She had three children right?
A : Yes.
Q : How many were boys?
A : None.
Q : Were there any girls?
|A man goes into a bar, he's really pissed off. He sits down and orders a beer.|
"What's wrong?" The barman asks him.
"Lawyers are assholes!" he exclaims.
A huge redneck sitting next to him gets up, prods him on the shoulder and slurs, "Mister, ah take exception to that!"
Looking him up-and-down the man is confused. "Why? Are you a Lawyer?" he asks.
"Nope!" replies the redneck. "I'm an asshole!"
|A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home.|
When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home.
He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers can not and do not lie. So, he had an idea : he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. He took the remaining one with him to see homes with the Real Estate Agent.
He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, "How many children do you have ?"
He answered, "12 children."
The agent asked, "Where are the others ?"
The lawyer answered, with a sad look, "They are in the cemetery with their mother."
And that's the way he was able to rent a home for his family without lying.
MORAL: It is not necessary to lie, one only has to choose the right words. Lawyers don't lie ...they are creative ....