|Two lawyers hired a secretary from a small town in the hills.|
She was attractive, but it was obvious that she knew nothing about city life.
One attorney said to the other, "Mary is so young and pretty she might be taken advantage of by some of those fast-talking city guys. Why don't we teach her what's right and what's wrong?"
"Great idea,' said the partner. "You teach her what's right and I'll teach her what's wrong!"
|Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, "I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than I am. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it."|
"Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"
"Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator.
"Hmm. Well, where do you catch 'em?"
"Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp."
"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch 'em?"
"Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the crap out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the crap out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."
|Once a lawyer was travelling by train in A/c class. He was traveling from New Delhi to Mumbai! He was traveling alone!|
Some time later, a Beautiful lady came and sat down on the berth opposite to him.
Lawyer was pleasantly Happy! The lady kept smiling at him! This made him even more Happy!
She got up and sat next to him! Lawyer was now bubbling with Joy!
She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear, "Hand over all your valuables, cash, cards, mobile phone to me else I will shout and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me."
Lawyer stared blankly at her! He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote: "I can not hear or speak. You write on this paper whatever you want to say."
The lady wrote everything what she said earlier and gave it to him! He took her note, kept it in his pocket!
He got up and told her in clear tones... "Now shout & scream!!"
MORAL: DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT.
|A judge was instructing the jury that because a witness changed his statement after giving it to the police, he should not necessarily be regarded as untruthful.|
"For example," the judge said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was certain that I had my gold watch in my pocket, then I remembered that I had left it on my nightstand in my bedroom."
When the judge arrived home that evening, his wife asked, "Why so much urgency for your watch? Don't you think sending three men to pick it up for you was a bit extreme?"
"What?" exclaimed the judge. "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?"
"I gave it to the first one," replied his wife, "after all, he knew exactly where it was."