• I Need a Job

    Job Applicant: I'm looking for a job as a consultant.

    Employer: I'm sorry, we already have enough consultants.

    Applicant: That's ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor.

    Employer: More than we can use already.

    Applicant, as he is getting desperate: I'm not proud, I can do paperwork, I'll be a clerk. If you have too many, I'll start as a janitor.

    Employer: It just doesn't seem that we have any openings for a person with your qualifications.

    Applicant, as he stands up and angrily yells, Work for you? I'd have to be a low life, belly crawling, double dealing jerk!

    Employer: Well, you didn't say you were an attorney, have a seat, we may have an opening.
  • Are X-Rays Bad ?

    Just as a young man was about to get a chest X-ray, the equipment slipped and his pelvic region was X-Rayed instead.

    "Oh, no!", cried the lab technician, "Your reproductive organs just received a huge dose of radiation!"

    "What does that mean?" asked the worried young man.

    "It's serious," replied the technician. "All your children will be lawyers!"
  • New Secretary

    Two High Court lawyers hired a secretary from a small town in the hills. She was attractive, and really hot but it was obvious that she knew nothing about city life.

    One attorney said to the other, "Our secretary is so young, pretty and naive that she might be taken advantage of by some of those fast-talking city guys. Why don't we teach her what's right and what's wrong?"

    "Great idea," said the partner. You teach her what's right."
  • Playing Smart!!!

    A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick.

    "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!"

    He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.

    Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."

    With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty.

    "But how?" the lawyer asked. "You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door."

    "Oh, yes," the jury foreman replied. "We all looked - but your client."