• Honeymoon Package!

    Woman goes to travel agent and says, "Honeymoon Ka Sasta Package Hai koi?"

    Agent says, "Ji Mam, 50k mein 3N/4D in Bangkok including flight hotel and food."

    Woman replies, "Aur Koi Sasta??"

    Agent says, "Kashmir 3N/4D all inclusive 35k."

    Woman goes, "Isse Bhi koi Sasta?"

    Agent replies, "Ji Madam, Ek Special Offer Hai - 10N/11D in London and Paris via Milan, stay in honeymoon suite and complementary chauffeured car. Package is completely free!!!"

    Woman is overjoyed and immediately tells him, "Awww my god!!! Yeh Toh incredible offer Hai, Zaroor Kuchh Catch Hoga?"

    Agent says, "Koi catch Nahi Madam, Bas Husband Hamari Taraf Se Hota Hai!!!"
  • Just-a-wee-bit

    An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.

    Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.

    The farmer simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."

    The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.

    "Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice... pigeon-toed."

    The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls;so the man went out with the second daughter. The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.

    "Well," the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell... cross-eyed."

    The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

    The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."

    So they were wed right away.

    Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human "thing" you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

    "Well," explained the farmer, "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell... pregnant when you met her."
  • Wife's Q&A

    You ask your wife something and she says, "Wahan Rakha Hai."
    This "Wahan" can be either:
    1. On the table.
    2. Or any of th 26 drawers in kitchen.
    3. Or Antarctica..!!!

    When wife say, "Woh Laa Do..."
    It can be:
    1. Her Lipstick.
    2. Or milk from market.
    3. Or An AK 56..!!!

    When wife says, "Yeh Kya Hai..??"
    It can be:
    1. Your Pyjamas on the floor.
    2. Or beer 6-pack in fridge.
    3. Or a Drone flying over Afghanistan!

    When wife says, "Tumhe Kabhi Kuch Samajh Nahi Aata..."
    It can be about:
    1. A new mushy WhatsApp message.
    2. Or Einstein's Theory of Relativity.
    3. Or her latest spending spree in Mall...!

    When wife says, "Ab Bohut Ho Gaya..."
    It can be :
    1. The mascara she is putting.
    2. Or the amount of Anthrax that needs to be put in a Biological Weapon.
    3. Or the latest spat she had with your mother.

    And....when wife says, "Main Kaisi Lag Rahi Hoon?"
    It's GAME OVER.
    It doesn't have any meaning... except confirmed annihilation.
    It just puts you in a fix which Arjun had faced.... just before the War started...... in Mahabharata... as to whether you should follow Dharma ....or Karma...!!!!
  • Deadly Talk

    A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife. The psychic went into a trance.

    A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.

    "Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?"

    "Yes, my husband."

    "Are you happy?"

    "Yes, my husband."

    "Happier than you were with me?"

    "Yes, my husband."

    "Then Heaven must be an amazing place!"

    "I'm not in Heaven, dear."