|The FEMALE always makes THE RULES.|
THE RULES are subject to change without prior notice.
No MALE can possibly know all THE RULES.
If the FEMALE suspects the MALE to know all THE RULES,
She must immediately change some or all THE RULES.
The Female is never wrong. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said.
The male must apologise immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE.
The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The MALE must remain calm at all times, Unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry and/or upset.
The MALE is expected to mind read at all times.
The MALE who does not abide by THE RULES can not take the heat, lacks backbone, is a wimp.
Any attempt to document the RULES could result in bodily harm.
If the FEMALE has P.M.S., all THE RULES may be null and void.
The FEMALE is ready when she is ready, The MALE must be ready at all times.
|Phil had always been a prankster. As each of his friends were married, Phil made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them. Now ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he knew was coming.|
Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch. No one stood up during the pause to offer a reason 'why this couple should not be married'. His reception wasn't disrupted by streakers or smoke-bombs, and the car the couple was to take on their honeymoon was in perfect working order.
When the newl-wed pair arrived at their hotel and entered the room, Phil even checked for cornflakes in the bed (a gag he had always loved). Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Amazed that he had come away unscathed, the couple fell into bed.
Upon waking, the couple was ravenous so Phil called down to room service and asked, "I'd like to order breakfast for two."
At that moment, a soft voice from under the bed said, "Make that five!!!"
|A mother-in-law explaining work to her newly wed Daughter-in-law.|
"I am Home Minister as well as Finance Minister of this house, yur Father-in-law is the Foriegn Minister, my Son, I mean your husband runs the Ministry of Demand and Supply, and, my daughter runs Planning & Developement Ministry. Now you tell me which Ministry would you like to run?"
Daughter-in-law instantly replied with a smile, "Dear mother-in-law, I'll be the leader of OPPOSITION..."
|Just Before the Weekly Bridge Game Mr. and Mrs. Jones were an average middle-aged couple who got along well enough as long as Mr. Jones didn't put his foot in his mouth.|
One day, she was running late for the weekly bridge game with her friends she was hosting, and just before she got into the shower, she gave her husband strict instructions to just let the ladies in without talking to them 'too much...'
When she finished having her shower and was finally done, she came downstairs all dressed up for the little party, but no one was there except her husband.
Mr. Jones looked somewhat bewildered, and he began to explain immediately, "Mrs. Smith said she had been having trouble with mice in her house, and Mrs. Brown said that she just stuffed steel wool in their little holes, so I asked her who held their little legs apart."