|While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.|
After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes.
By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turnaround, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grumpy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.
As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card."
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.
I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Nothing."
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him.
He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.
Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.
We had sex, he fell asleep, I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
A two-foot putt..... Who the hell misses a two-foot putt?
|This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper.|
Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air-conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "I can't believe you're asking me about supper right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner out yourself."
So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, with potatoes, garlic bread and tall glass of iced tea.
The wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So where is mine?"
"Huh? I thought you were out of town."
|Santa: Oye Jeeto! Bada Kharcha Ho Gaya Is Mahine... Saari Salary Khatam Ho Gayi. Kahan Lag Gaye Itne Paise.. Kahan Kharch Kar Diye???|
Jeeto: Maine Apne Liye Nahin Use Kiye... Ghar Kharch Mein Hi Lag Gaye Saare Paise.
Santa: Kamaal Hai... Kuch Ni Bacha... Koi Hisaab-Kitaab Hai?
Jeeto: Maine Sab Likh Ke Rakha Hai Diary Mein. Tum chahe Toh Chack Kar Lo.
Santa: Ok, show me.
1500 - Milk
900 - PNKG
4000 - Vegetables
1100 - PNKG
1800 - Dhobi
500 - PNKG
3500 - Maid
800 - PNKG
6000 - Grocery
1500 - PNKG
1800 - Electric & Water Bills
1000 - PNKG
Santa: Ek Minute... Ek Minute... Ye PNKG Kya Cheez Hai???
Jeeto: Pata Nahi Kitthe Gaye!