• Behind Every Successful...

    During a company's annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand... the eccentric Boss dared any of his employees to jump into the crocodiles infested pond... and swim to the shore.

    Anyone who survived the swim will be rewarded with 5 million... but if killed by the crocs...2 million will be given to the next of kin.

    For a long period of time no one dared take up the challenge... then suddenly a man jumped in...and swam frantically for his life towards shore pursued by the crocs...and luckily he made it unscathed.

    When he managed to recover his breath... the instant millionaire shouted asking who pushed him into the pond..... it was his wife who did it.!!!

    And from that day...that was how the phrase... "Behind every successful man...there's a woman"...came about !!!
  • Sending A Signal

    A young air force officer had a very beautiful wife. Early each morning he left his house and went to the airport, and an hour later his wife always left the house too, with a big white towel, and went for a walk on the beach.

    Her husband always flew over every morning, and when she saw his aeroplane, she held the white towel high above her head. When her husband saw it, he made either the left wing or the right wing of his aeroplane go down.

    The left wing meant "I will be busy tonight and won't be home." The right wing meant, "In eight hours I will be holding you in my arms."

    One morning he flew over with eight other aeroplanes, and his left wing went down. Before his wife had time to feel sad about this, all the other aeroplanes flew over, and each one of them turned its right wing down.
  • The Good Old Days

    An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

    She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."

    Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

    A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."!

    Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

    Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck."

    Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

    "Where are you going?" she asked.

    "To get my teeth!"
  • Staggering Drunk

    Randy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddies.

    He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.
    As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.

    A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Randy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding.

    He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

    In the morning, Randy woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.

    She said, "You were drunk again last night, weren't you?"

    Randy said, "Why would you say such a mean thing?"

    "Well," Kathleen said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."
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