|Son: Dad, I want to get married.|
Father: First, tell me you're sorry.
Son: For what?
Father: Say sorry...
Son: But for what ? What did I do?
Father: Just say sorry...
Son: But...what have I done wrong ?
Father: Say sorry!
Father: Say sorry!!
Son: Please, just tell me why?
Father: Say sorry!!!
Son: OK, Dad... I'm sorry!
Father: There you are ! Now you are ready... your training is complete. When you learn to say sorry for no reason at all, then you're ready to get married!
|The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later.|
Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs. 'Do you realize what time it is," she said.
He answered, "Don't get excited, I'm late because I bought something for the house.
"Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she said, "What did you buy for the house, dear?"
His answer was, "A round of drinks!"
|A few women were sitting around the table talking, and the subject turned to their husbands.|
One lady said, "My husband just won't go to church with me, I think he's going to go to Hell."
This led to talk around the table and it was generally agreed that, for one reason or another, all the husbands were going to end up in Hell. So, then the housewives started speculating about themselves.
One woman said, "I try to be good - I'm sure I'll make it to Heaven."
Another one said, "No, I did this bad thing. I won't make it unless I mend my ways and I better start soon."
At this point they noticed that one of the ladies (the only single women in the group, and a blonde mind you) wasn't saying anything. They turned to her and said, "You're such a nice lady, surely you'll be going to Heaven?"
She says, "No way! In fact, first thing in the morning, I'm going to buy me a ticket straight to Hell!"
They were shocked and asked, "Why??"
"Well, you don't expect me to live in a world without men, do you?"
|The Bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.|
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life."
Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and said......, "My daughter has finally returned my Credit Card to me!!!"
The whole audience burst into laughter. But one was in complete silence...... The Groom