• Best Children's Day

    Yesterday morning, a woman said to her husband, "I'll bet you don't know what day this is."

    "Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office.

    At 10:00 AM, the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses.

    At 1:00 PM, a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.

    The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.

    "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful Children's Day in my life!"
  • Honey, I Want A Divorce

    A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour. The husband is behind the wheel.

    His wife suddenly looks across at him and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we have been married for over twenty years, but I want a divorce."

    The husband says nothing, he keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases his speed to 45mph.

    The wife speaks again, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and he is a far better lover than you are."

    Again the husband stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55mph.

    She pushes her luck, "I want the house."

    Up to 60 mph.

    "I want the car, too," She continues.

    Up to 65mph now.

    "And," she says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"

    The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.

    This makes her nervous, so she asks him, "Isn't their anything you want?"

    The husband at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice, "No, I've got everything I need."

    "Oh, really," she inquires, "so what have you got?"

    Just before they slam into the wall at 65mph, the husband turns to her, smiles, said, "The airbag!"
  • A Successful Marriage

    Recently in Bangalore a couple celebrated their 25th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their 25 years of married life. Media gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their 'Happy Going Marriage'

    A TV reporter was very curious to know the secret and asked the husband, "Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible?"

    Husband Said, "We are a happy couple since marriage, thanks to our honeymoon trip to Shimla."

    TV Reporter aske, "Sir, tell us about it so that all couples can also be happy like you."

    Finally husband agreed to reveal the 'secret of the happy marriage'.

    "For our honeymoon," recalling his old honeymoon days husband said, "We had been to Shimla. The day after we both went for a horse ride. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one. On the way that horse jumped up suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said: 'This is your first time'.

    "She again got on the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again was calm and said: 'This is your second time...' and continued.

    "When the horse dropped her a third time, she just took out a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead !!

    I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?'

    She gave a silent look and said: 'This is your first time!!!'

    "That's it. We are happy ever after..."
  • Dining Out!

    A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.

    The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

    Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

    After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

    The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."
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