• Deadly Talk

    A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife. The psychic went into a trance.

    A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.

    "Honey!" he cried. "Is that you?"

    "Yes, my husband."

    "Are you happy?"

    "Yes, my husband."

    "Happier than you were with me?"

    "Yes, my husband."

    "Then Heaven must be an amazing place!"

    "I'm not in Heaven, dear."
  • The Way Women Think

    Husband's Message (by text):

    "Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"

    Wife's Response:
    "Who's Paula?"
  • Is it Yours?

    A Pole, an Italian, and a Jew, all first-time fathers-to-be, are pacing nervously in the Maternity Ward waiting room when a nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding a black baby.

    "Is it yours?" she asks the Italian.

    "Certainly not," he retorts.

    "Yours?" she asks the Pole, who vigorously denies paternity.

    "How about you?" she asks the Jew.

    "Maybe," he says, glumly. "My wife burns everything."
  • Beautiful or Cute???

    There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

    His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

    His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!"

    Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful' it was 'cute.'

    She said, "What happened to 'beautiful'?"

    His reply was, "The drugs are wearing off!"
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