• Stinky Revenge

    After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and then he would buy her another place. The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there, to pack up her things. While he was gone, the first day she lovingly put her personal belongings into boxes and crates and suitcases.

    On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit Dining table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted on a pound of shrimp and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited a few of the shrimp and resulting shrimp shells into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

    The husband came back, with his new girl, and all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started; slowly but surely. Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad. They tried everything; cleaned & mopped and aired the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in, the carpets were replaced, and on it went.

    Finally, they could take it no more and decided to move. The Moving company arrived and did a very professional packing job, taking everything to their new home. Including, of course... the curtain rods!
  • The Refrigerator Girl

    A young woman is visiting her parents. While helping her mother fix dinner, she opens the refrigerator. On the inside of the door, she sees a spicy picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built young woman.

    "What's this about, Mom?" she asks.

    "Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to overeat," the mother answers.

    "Is it working?" her daughter asks.

    "Yes and no," her mom replies. "I've lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20."
  • The Happiest Day

    Harry was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage.

    He was on his way out of the office when his boss came over to him with an outstretched hand, "Congratulations Harry! I just wanted to tell you I've been married for twenty two years, and I am sure that you will always remember this day with the fondest of memories, as the happiest day of your life."

    "But sir", said Harry, a little bit confused, "I'm not getting married until tomorrow!"

    "Yeah, I know," said his boss.
  • Wife vs Girfriend

    What is the difference between a Wife and a Girlfriend? Great thought in Modified version.

    Wife is like a TV and Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.

    At home you watch TV, but when you go out you take your MOBILE with you.

    Sometimes you enjoy TV, but most of the time, you play with your MOBILE.

    TV is (as good as) free for life, but for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.

    TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy, replaceable and portable.

    Operational costs for TV is often acceptable but for the MOBILE, it is often high and demanding.

    TV has a remote but MOBILE doesn't.

    Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (you talk and listen), but with the TV, you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)!

    Last but not least!
    Yet TVs are superior because TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILES often do. And mobiles can be easily hacked or stolen.

    Take Care. Stick to TV only.

    Issued in Public interest!