• iBitch Activated!

    March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

    I celebrated my birthday in July and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

    My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.

    September came by, so for my wife's birthday I bought her an iRon.

    It was around then that the fight started. What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean. This unfortunately activated the iBitch.

    Which led me to the iHospital and iGet out Thursday.
  • Great Husband

    Jenny was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman's work!

    But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on.

    It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having to do all the housework, in addition to holding down a full-time job.

    The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her girlfriends at the office.

    "How did it work out?" they asked. "Well, it was a great dinner, Jenny said. "Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away."

    "I really enjoyed my evening," she went on to say.

    "But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know.

    "It didn't work out," Jenny said. "Charley was too tired."
  • Ex-Wife!

    Joe finally decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend. One evening, after their honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage, just for fun. His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.

    After a long period of silence she finally spoke. "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we're married, maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop. You probably should just consider selling all your welders along with your gun collection and that stupid vintage Harley.`
    Joe got a horrified look on his face. She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"

    He replied, "There, for a minute, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife." "Ex-wife!" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!" Joe replied, "I wasn't."
  • Life of a Husband

    Mr Jones drove his secretary home after she had had a little too much to drink at their new year's office party. She was sooooo drunk.

    Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife who was an insanely jealous and suspicious woman.

    Later that night, Mr. jones and his wife were in the car when he spotted a high-heeled shoe under the passenger seat....

    While his wife wasn't looking, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window...

    Later, as they got out of the car, his wife asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?" Life of a husband is so difficult....
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