• Don't Jump to Conclusions

    At a wedding , the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.

    The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child.

    She started walking toward the pastor slowly.

    Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom's mother fainted. The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.

    The pastor asked the woman, "Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?"

    The woman replied, "We can't hear in the back."
  • Cooking Tips for Ladies

    1) .....While seasoning, if you put few drops of whisky, the oil doesn't burn.

    2) .....While kneading dough, put a few drops of beer and the chapatis will be golden brown.

    3 .....If you add a few drops of vodka in paneer, it will not spoil in summer time.

    4) .....Putting red wine in dal will enhance the taste.

    If you can't manage the above,

    5) .....Pour 4 pegs in your husband's mouth, then it doesn't matter how you cook....

    And Finally........

    6) If point 5 is not possible... then you drink 2 pegs. It doesn't matter what he thinks...
  • Savita Reloaded!

    Wife sent a message to her husband:

    Don't forget to buy vegetables on your way back from office, and Savita says hi to you.

    Husband: Who is Savita ?

    Wife: Nothing, I was just making sure that you read my message or not.

    Twist in the tale.....
    Husband: But I'm with Savita, which Savita are you talking about ?
    Wife: where are you....?

    Husband: Near vegetable market.

    Wife: Wait, I will come there.....

    After 10 minutes she texts her husband 'where are you?'

    Husband: I m at office, now buy whatever vegetables you need...
  • Taming a Husband

    A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.

    "What a peaceful & loving couple." everyone would say.

    The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

    "Well, it actually dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.'

    "We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'

    We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. I shouted at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy??'

    "She looked at me, and quietly said, 'That's once.'

    "And from that moment.... we have lived happily ever after."