• Disappearing Lover

    Harry and Sheila were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that Harry was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Sheila acted quite unconcerned.

    Their waitress watched as Harry slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

    Still, Sheila appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that Harry had disappeared under the table.

    After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

    Sheila calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Oh, no he didn't. In fact, my husband just walked in the front door."
  • The Secret of Longevity

    Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

    "I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled.

    "My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.

    "Gentlemen, I have been walking in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."
  • Real Father

    Real Father
    A young man went to his father one day to tell him that he wanted to get married.

    His father was happy for him. He asked his son who the girl was, and he told him that it was Pamela, a girl from the neighborhood.

    With a sad face the old man said to his son, 'I'm sorry to say this son but I have to. The girl you want to marry is your sister, but please don't tell your mother.'

    The young man again brought 3 more names to his father but ended up frustrated cause the response was still the same.

    So he decides to go to his mother.

    'Mama I want to get married but all the girls that I love, dad said they are my sisters and I mustn't tell you.' His mother smiling said to him, 'Don't worry my son, you can marry any of those girls. You're not his son !!
  • Fading Beauty !

    Fading Beauty !
    In a recovery room a man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery. His wife was sitting by his side holding his hand. His eyelids just opened for a few seconds.

    He looked at his wife as if he was returning from out of body experience, hallowed by bright white light. With a broken smile and in a groggy voice he mumbled at his wife, "You are so beautiful."

    Then he fell asleep and started snoring again waking up other recovering room surgery patients and annoying nurses. His wife had never seen him so ugly and yet so romantic. So she suppressed all her disgust of environment, held his hand tighter and chose to stuck there for a while.

    After a while the man opens his eyelids again but wider and for longer time. He loves the comfort of his wife and says, "You are cute!"

    The wife was disgusted, threw his hand on the bed and demanded an explanation, "It was 'beautiful', last time and how it is 'cute' this time. What happened to my beauty?"

    The man answered, "Honey, I am recovering to reality from the influence of Anesthesia."