• Great News

    The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."

    The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said, "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."

    "I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us," she replied.
  • Dinner Party

    Dinner Party
    A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests.

    The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails.

    Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he ran into a couple of old friends and began to yuck it up and he soon forgot about his wife’s party.

    It was well past 10 when he remembered. "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!"

    He grabbed his bucket, and ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time.

    He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, "Come on guys, we're almost there!!"
  • Married Men

    There is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.

    Concerned about this, a woman organisation called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think us women are week, dumb, cantankerous...or what?"

    "Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."
  • Alarming Whistle

    Smith and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in the park. They say down on a bench to rest. They overheard voices coming from a secluded spot.

    Suddenly Mrs. Smith realized that a young man was about to propose.

    Not wanting to eavesdrop at such an intimate moment, she nudged her husband and whispered, "Whistle and let that young couple know that someone can hear them."

    Smith said, "Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me."