• Dying Wish!

    Dying Wish!
    A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He goes home to tell his wife and after they both had a long cry over it, he asked her if she would have sex with him because he only had 24 hours to live.

    "Of course Darling." she replied. And so they have sex.

    Four hours later they are lying in bed and he turns to her again, and says, "you know I only have 20 hours to live, do you think we could do it again?"

    Again she responds very sympathetically and agrees to have sex.

    Another 8 hours pass, and she had fallen asleep from exhaustion, he taps her on the shoulder, and asks her again, "You know dear, I only have 12 more hours left, how about again for old times sake?"

    By this time she is getting a little annoyed, but reluctantly agrees.

    After they finish she goes back to sleep and 4 hours later, he taps her on the shoulder again and says, "Dear, I hate to keep bothering you but you know I only have 8 hours left before I die, can we do it one more time?"

    Well, she turns to him with a grimaced look on her face and says, "You know... you don't have to get up in the morning, but I do!!!"
  • Women Powers

    Women Powers
    At an international women's conference the topic for discussion was: How to empower women in the home.

    The first speaker was the British representative. She stood up and said, "I decided to make a stand against my husband's oppression and so I told him that I would no longer be doing the washing. After the first day I saw no result; after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day he did his own washing."

    The delegates applauded this brave stand for women's rights.

    The second speaker was from America. She stood up and said, "I told my husband that I was no longer prepared to cook for him as it was a form of enslavement. After the first day I saw no result, after the second day I saw no result; but after the third day he cooked a meal for the both of us."

    Again the conference applauded.

    Next came the Australian delegate. She said, "I told my husband that I would no longer be doing the shopping. After the first day I saw nothing, after the second day I saw nothing; but after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
  • Unfaithful Hubby

    Unfaithful Hubby
    Rita was standing vigil over her husband's deathbed. As she held his hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his face, and roused him from his slumber.

    He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "My darling," he whispered.

    "Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep. Shhh. Don't talk."

    But he was insistent. "Rita," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."

    "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Rita. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now."

    "No, no. I must die in peace, Rita. I slept with your sister, your best friend and your mother."

    Rita mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now dear, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," she said.

    "Now you be still, and let the poison work."
  • The New Wife

    The New Wife
    The new wife was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner. As expected she gave a speech:

    "My dear family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family", she said "Firstly, my being here does not mean that I would want to change your way of life, your routine. No, I will never do that, never in a million years".

    "What do you mean my child?" Asked the father in law.

    "What I mean dad is (looking at her father in law):

    Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them.

    Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.

    Those who cooked shouldn't stop at my account, and those who used to Clean should continue cleaning".

    "Then what are you here for?" Asked the mother in law.

    "As for me, my job is to entertain your son!"