• Older Lovers...

    Grandpa and Grandma were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and reminiscing about "the good old days".
    Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember when we first started dating and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?"
    Grandpa looked over at her, smiled and obligingly took her aged hand in his.
    With a wry little smile, Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you remember how after we were engaged, you`d sometimes lean over and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?"
    Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.
    Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you’d kind of nibble on my ear?"
    Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house.
    Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?"
    Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!"take my hand?"
    Grandpa looked over at her, smiled and obligingly took her aged hand in his.
    With a wry little smile, Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you remember how after we were engaged, you`d sometimes lean over and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?"
    Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek.
    Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you’d kind of nibble on my ear?"
    Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house.
    Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?"
    Grandpa replied, "To get my teeth!"
  • Suspecting wife!

    A farmer’s wife was terribly jealous. Evening after evening, she subjected her husband to a searching inspection. When she would find even a single hair on his coat, there would be a terrible scene!

    One night, she found nothing."So" she screamed, "Now it’s a bald-headed woman!"
  • Mushrooms or....?

    Tim: Sam, I hear you just got married again.
    Sam: Yes, for the fourth time.
    Tim: What happened to your first three wives?
    Sam: They all died, Tim.
    Tim: How did that happen?
    Sam: My first wife ate poison mushrooms.
    Tim: How terrible! And your second?
    Sam: She ate poison mushrooms.
    Tim: And your third ate poison mushrooms too?
    Sam: Oh, no. She died of a broken neck.
    Tim: I see; an accident.
    Sam: Not exactly. She was not eating her mushrooms.
  • Dinner guest...

    "Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper,"
    "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn`t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don`t feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
    “I know all that." Replied the nonchalant husband.
    "Then why on Earth did you invite a friend for supper?" said the infuriated wife.
    "Because the poor fool`s thinking about getting married."
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