• Leaving...

    A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, "Pack your bags, I ve won the lottery!"
    The wife excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?"
    He says, "Pack em all, you re leaving!"
  • Wishing Well!

    A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said:
    "It really works!"
  • Slow Clock!

    Wife: Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off the wall. Had it fallen a moment sooner, my mother would have been hit on the head and badly hurt.
    Husband : Oh, my God! That clock has always been slow.
  • Club donation!

    The president of the service club asked his new member, "Would you like to donate something to the home for the aged?"
    The new member replied, "Yes, my mother-in-law."