|Wife: Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off the wall. Had it fallen a moment sooner, my mother would have been hit on the head and badly hurt. |
Husband : Oh, my God! That clock has always been slow.
|The president of the service club asked his new member, "Would you like to donate something to the home for the aged?" |
The new member replied, "Yes, my mother-in-law."
|The lawyer cabled his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?" |
Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order all three."
|Morris was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of question on his face.|
"I’ll never understand why the biggest shmucks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replies, "Why, thank you, dear!"