• Slow Clock!

    Wife: Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off the wall. Had it fallen a moment sooner, my mother would have been hit on the head and badly hurt.
    Husband : Oh, my God! That clock has always been slow.
  • Club donation!

    The president of the service club asked his new member, "Would you like to donate something to the home for the aged?"
    The new member replied, "Yes, my mother-in-law."
  • All three!

    The lawyer cabled his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?"
    Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order all three."
  • Attractive wife?

    Morris was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of question on his face.
    "I’ll never understand why the biggest shmucks get the most attractive wives."

    His wife replies, "Why, thank you, dear!"