• Insurance claim...

    Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."
    The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn`t work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."
    There was a long pause before Susan replied, "Then I`d like to cancel the policy on my husband."
  • Brave woman!

    A man & wife entered a dentist`s office.
    The Wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don`t want gas or Novocain because I`m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."
    "You`re a brave woman said the dentist. Now, Show me which tooth it is."
    The wife turns to her husband and says "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."
  • Bad times:

    The woman`s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
    As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
    "What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
    "I think you`re bad luck."
  • Toe the line !

    Everybody on Earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."
    Said and done, the next time God looked the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
    God got mad and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
    And the man replied, "I don`t know, my wife told me to stand here"