• A Tale of Two Diaries

    Wife's Diary:

    Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.

    I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

    Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

    I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Nothing."

    I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

    He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

    On the way home, I told him that I loved him.

    He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too."

    When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

    Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.

    We had sex, he fell asleep, I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

    Husband's Diary:
    A two-foot putt..... Who the hell misses a two-foot putt?
  • A Brave Husband

    This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper.

    Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air-conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "I can't believe you're asking me about supper right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner out yourself."

    So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, with potatoes, garlic bread and tall glass of iced tea.

    The wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So where is mine?"

    "Huh? I thought you were out of town."
  • Household Expenses

    Santa: Oye Jeeto! Bada Kharcha Ho Gaya Is Mahine... Saari Salary Khatam Ho Gayi. Kahan Lag Gaye Itne Paise.. Kahan Kharch Kar Diye???

    Jeeto: Maine Apne Liye Nahin Use Kiye... Ghar Kharch Mein Hi Lag Gaye Saare Paise.

    Santa: Kamaal Hai... Kuch Ni Bacha... Koi Hisaab-Kitaab Hai?

    Jeeto: Maine Sab Likh Ke Rakha Hai Diary Mein. Tum chahe Toh Chack Kar Lo.

    Santa: Ok, show me.

    Wife:
    1500 - Milk
    900 - PNKG
    4000 - Vegetables
    1100 - PNKG
    1800 - Dhobi
    500 - PNKG
    3500 - Maid
    800 - PNKG
    6000 - Grocery
    1500 - PNKG
    1800 - Electric & Water Bills
    1000 - PNKG
    1200 -
    600 -
    900 -
    ...
    ...
    Santa: Ek Minute... Ek Minute... Ye PNKG Kya Cheez Hai???

    Jeeto: Pata Nahi Kitthe Gaye!
  • The Happiest Day

    Harry was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage.

    He was on his way out of the office when his boss came over to him with an outstretched hand, "Congratulations Harry! I just wanted to tell you I've been married for twenty two years, and I am sure that you will always remember this day with the fondest of memories, as the happiest day of your life."

    "But sir", said Harry, a little bit confused, "I'm not getting married until tomorrow!"

    "Yeah, I know," said his boss.