|An Indian girl married a Spanish and went to Spain.|
As he can't speak Spanish. Each time she wanted to buy chicken legs, she would lift her skirt & shows her thighs to enable the seller understand her.
This went on for sometime, one day she wanted to buy banana.
She took her husband to the shop... (don't laugh... you perverts...)
Because her husband can speak Spanish and could ask for banana in Spanish.
|Husband: Aaj khane mein kya banaogi??|
Wife: Jo aap kaho?
Husband: Dal chawal bana lo.
Wife: Abhi kal hi to khaye the?
Husband: Toh sabji roti bana lo?
Wife: Bacche nahi khayenge?
Husband: Toh chhole puri bana lo?
Wife: Mujhe heavy heavy lagta hai?
Husband: Eggs bhurji bana lo?
Wife: Aaj guruvaar hai?
Husband: Paraanthe ??
Wife: Raat ko paraanthe kaun khata hai???
Husband: Hotel se mangwa lete hain??
Wife: Roz roz hotel ka nahi khana chahiye?
Husband: Kadhi chawal??
Wife: Dahi nahi hai?
Husband: Idly sambar??
Wife: Usme time lagega. Pehle bolna chahiye tha na!!?
Husband: Maggie hi bana lo, usme time nahi lagega?
Wife: Woh koi meal thodi hai? Pet nahi bharta?
Husband: Phir, ab kya banaogi??
Wife: Jo aap kaho...
|There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.|
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husbands?"
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn't remember. The women were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective husband: 'I love you, sweetheart.'
Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
2. What now? Did you crash the car again?
3. I don't understand what you mean?
4. What did you do now? I won't forgive you this time!!!
6. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
7. Am I dreaming? ???????
8. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today...!!!
9. I asked you not to drink anymore!!
and the best one...
10. Who is this?
|A couple watching an IPL match on the TV together. After five minutes:|
Wife: Is that Bret Lee?
Husband: No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler.
Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies like his brother.
Husband: He does not have an actor brother.
Wife: What about Bruce Lee?
Husband: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian.
Wife: OK. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes.
Husband: No. It is called action replay.
Wife: Looks like India is going to win this one.
Husband: It is not India. It is Bangalore vs Kolkatta.
Wife: Why is the umpire calling for a helicopter.
Husband: He is not calling for a helicopter. It's a free hit.
Wife: Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a Free Hit?
Wife: Now whom is he saying 'HI' to?
Husband: He is signalling a 'Bye'.
Wife: Why is he saying 'Bye. Is the game over?
Wife: How many runs to win?
Husband: 72 in 36 balls
Wife: Ah. That is easy. Just 2 runs in 1 ball.
Frustrated husband turns off the TV. Wife turns it on and watches 'Saraswasti Chandra'.
Husband: Who is this Saraswati Chandra?
Wife: Don't you dare disturb me...