• Behind every successful...

    During a company's annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand... the eccentric Boss dared any of his employees to jump into the crocodiles infested pond and swim to the shore.

    Anyone who survived the swim will be rewarded with 25 million but if killed by the crocs 2 million will be given to the next of kin.

    For a long period of time no one dared take up the challenge then suddenly a man jumped in...and swam frantically for his life towards shore pursued by the crocs and luckily he made it unscathed.
    When he managed to recover his breath... the man, who became instant millionaire, shouted asking who pushed him into the pond..... it was his wife who did it.!!!

    And from that day...that was how the phrase... "Behind every successful man...there's a woman"...came about !!!
  • After God, Fear Women!

    Wife: Honey let's play a game.

    Husband: Okay. What's the game about?

    Wife: If I mention a country, you run to the left side of the room and touch the wall & if I mention a bird, you run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you'll give me all your salary for this month.

    Husband: Okay! And if you fail in your turn, I'll have your salary too right?

    Wife, smile: Yes darling!

    Husband: Okay (stands up ready to run in any direction)

    Wife: Are you ready???

    Husband: Yes ready...
    Wife: TURKEY.
    Its been 4 HOURS NOW... The Husband is still standing at the spot wondering if she meant the Country or the bird ??????? Moral lesson... After God, Fear Women!
  • When a Man Cooks!

    When a man volunteers to do the BBQ, the following chain of events is put into motion.

    Routine...
    1) The woman buys the food.
    2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes the dessert.
    3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.
    4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three-meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
    v Here comes the important part:
    5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

    More Routine....
    6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
    7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.

    Important Again:
    8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

    More Routine...
    9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
    10) After eating, the woman clears the table and washes the dishes.
    And most important of all:
    11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
    12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off, and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....
  • Don't Mess With Your Wife

    After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

    "Now... We have an $800,000 home, a $65,000 car, a nice big bed and a large-screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of the bargain."

    My wife is a very reasonable woman.

    She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

    Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.