• Ten Million Dollars

    Jack's grandfather left him ten million dollars, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him.

    After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men's names!

    Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her.

    "Diane," he said, "the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me ten million dollars when he died."

    "Don't be ridiculous," she replied, "I don't care who gave you the money!"
  • Loving Wife!

    After examining a patient the doctor took his wife aside and told her that her husband was gravely ill but there were 3 things she could do to ensure his survival.

    1. Give him three nutritious meals every day.
    2. Do not nag him.
    3. Make love to him every night.
    While driving back home the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say ?"

    "I am sorry dear but he said that you are not going to make it."
  • Rest in Peace!

    When the rich man's will was read, his wife was very upset: he left everything to the young woman who lived next door to them and nothing to her!

    She drove immediately to the cemetery to cancel her order for his headstone.

    The stonecarver said, "You're too late. I already carved it just like you told me: 'Rest In Peace.'"

    The woman thought a moment and then replied, "Okay, then, I'll pay you a little more to add, 'Till we meet again!'"
  • Clean-Shaven

    A married man was visiting his girlfriend when she requested that he shave his beard.

    "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

    James replied, "My wife loves this beard. I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!!"

    "Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice.

    "Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!!"

    The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally gave in.

    That night James crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping.

    The wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face and said, "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"
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