• Husband's Night Out

    An angry housewife met her husband at the front door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol and perfume.

    "I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm, "That there must be a very good reason for your coming home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your breath and another woman's perfume all over you."

    "There is," he said. "I'd like breakfast."
  • Waiting in Line

    A man is waiting in line for a hit movie. Behind him are two women.

    The usher comes along and says that he has two seats together.

    Seeing the problem, the usher says to the man, "Let them go first. You wouldn’t want to separate a woman from her mother, would you?"

    The man says, "No, sir. I did that once, and I’ve been sorry ever since."
  • Club donation!

    The president of the service club asked his new member, "Would you like to donate something to the home for the aged?"
    The new member replied, "Yes, my mother-in-law."
  • Enough about Wives...

    Enough about Wives, now something for Husbands...

    A new metal is added to chemistry:

    Name: Husband
    Symbol: Hb
    Atomic Weight:
    -Light when first found...
    -tends to get heavier over the years with time.

    Physical Properties:
    Boils at any time with inlaws.
    Can freeze in front of his own family.
    Melts if sees other women.
    Very Bitter if questioned.

    Chemical Properties:
    Very Reactive
    Highly Unstable
    Possess Strong resistance to Gold, Silver, Diamond, Platinum, Credit cards & Cheque books.
    Money saving Agent.

    Mostly found in front of the TV.