|The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.|
The next day, he brought a small sign that Read: "I'm the Boss !"
He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
|As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Kumar became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a drop dead gorgeous young lady.|
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the lady suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Kumar, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Kumar was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I... I didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't," replied his wife, consolingly, "I did."
|Three men were sitting in a bar talking about how whipped they had their wives.|
The first two kept bragging about how they could get their wives to do anything.
They looked at the third man and he said, "I have my wife so whipped that the other day I had her crawling towards me on her hands and knees."
Both of the other men were very impressed and asked him how he had managed that.
The man replied, "Well, I was laying under the bed and she crawled over and said, 'Come out and fight like a man!'"
|A man decided to change his life and for a start he took up the easiest - drinking. He got so drunk with whisky and his breath had such a foul stench as if a whole herd of mammoths had spent the night in his mouth.|
It felt good to be blind drunk, but the time came for him to go home and his wife was quite quick-tempered. She always knew when he was drunk even if he was three blocks away from their house and did not let him in. This is why the drunken man decided to use his cunning and break in the house.
He rang the bell for a long time and an angry voice hissed from within, "Who is it?"
The man leaned on the door and said tenderly, "I bring roses for the most beautiful woman in the world."
Upon hearing that his wife was so moved that decided to open the door. She opened it and took a close look at her husband. Imagine her surprise when she saw neither roses, nor hyacinths in his hands.
"Where are the roses for the most beautiful woman in the world, you bastard?" the woman roared.
The man slouched towards her and murmured, "And where is the most beautiful woman in the world?"